What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you...

okay, so I've seen these dolls b4 n I think that they're jus absoulutely adorable...well I've been doin sum research on them 2day n I found out who makes them n I've been tryin 2 find a way 2 get ahold of her...I put a comment on one of her pics of her Ville doll that she made but idk if she'll get it er not...she makes more than jus Ville dolls tho, she makes all kinds of them...n idk about u, but I'd like 2 get ahold of her sumhow n get my hands on one of those Ville dolls...so I was thinkin, that if I can get sum other ppl on here 2 tlk 2 her besides jus me, then we could get 2 her sumhow n tlk 2 her about gettin sum Ville dollies :D if u'd like 2 help me out, jus comment n then we can work 2gether on tryin 2 get ahold of her n if we find out anything new, we'll tell one another...kinda like a secret mission :)

here's a little taste of what they look like

well here's the link 2 the rest of her Ville doll album

http://www.flickr.com/photos/sheryldesigns/sets/72157600872439873/detail/

comment if u wanna help :D

Valos, Letos, and GaGas,
KittylovesPetemorethanu
(Caitlin)
*Anthie Owns*

    After making sure that every bit of me was perfect, I slipped on my combat boots and ran outside into the bright light, turning when I headed out the door to go to my car. I took a few steps when I heard a loud noise coming from farther down the road. I hopped off the porch and approached my car while dragging my keys out of my purse. The loud noise was getting louder and louder, making my ears scream. It was then that I realised that the sound was only a few feet away from me. I turned my head to see Phoenix doing a dangerously sharp turn into my driveway on a motorcycle. It was a Harley with flames on it. So typical of her. She pulled in when I realised there was a guy on the back with her. They got off at nearly at the same time. Phoenix took long strides to me, the guy following after her. He had many tattoos, one being a star on his right cheekbone, and brown hair with blond in the front. Phoenix smiled at me when my jaw dropped. This was all so different. I managed to get my jaw back in place and spoke. "What is all this?"
   Phoenix grabbed the guy's hand and pulled him closer to her. "This is my new 'friend', Sully. And that back there...that's my new bike."
   I made a twisted face pointing in her direction before snapping my hand back and swiping it over my face, leaving it placed over my mouth for a few seconds before dropping it to my hip. "And this happened when?", I questioned, hoping the answer wasn't too crazy.
Phoenix smiled and looked at Sully while she spoke. "Well I've known Sully for awhile, I just never told you about him. We decided to make it official last night when I happened to win the lottery and buy this awesome Harley. Jealous much?", she said while turning her head back to look at me.
   I dropped the twisted expression and drew a quick breath. "No, those things scare me. And another thing, I'm breaking up with Lauri tonight."
    Phoenix seemed to be a little shocked but not too surprised. "Well why?"
    I slouched my shoulders a little and folded my arms. "He asked me to marry him last night. I've only known him a month, I'm not ready to be that committed so soon...", I dropped my hands to my sides again, "I have to keep looking, he's just not the one. I'm not into guys pushing me for things. That's the reason why I've never really dated that much."
    "Well have fun with that, I'll be sure not to be there when he starts babblin' like a baby when he starts crying over your shoulder at school on Monday," she said amusingly.
    "Thanks."
    "No problem," she mused as she and Sully walked back over to the bike, kicking it into gear. I shrugged my shoulders and hopped in my car. I needed to stop by my friend's house before I headed off to Ville's place. I drove at a calming speed to Brittany's house. She was one of my other best friends who everyone called Peaches. She was seeing another friend of ours named Jake Gyllenhaal. They had been together for about 2 years now. Brittany's younger sister, Savanna, better known as Dead Girl, lived with her. She was a good friend of ours and was seeing another friend in the bunch, his name being Gerard Way. They had been together for about 4 months and Gerard wouldn't shut up about her. I pulled into the driveway, grabbing the money I owed her. I walked into the house; Dead Girl and Gerard were watching TV together. I walked past them and headed into Brittany's room. Jake was asleep on her bed but Brittany was no where to be found. I walked into the dining room and finally found her. I put the money in front of her face to catch her attention. "Here's the money I owe you," I said, unenthusingly. She grabbed it and took a big bite of her cinnomon roll.
    "Thanks. Where you headed to?"
    "Ville's."
    She smiled while chewing her roll and began talking with tight lips. "Be careful you two," she giggled.
    "What's that supposed to mean?", I asked, demandingly.
    "You know how you guys act around each other. All kissy faced and always saying 'I missed you' and 'I love you'. Not to mention the fact that you hold his hand all the time."
    "Peaches, me n' Ville have always acted that way. He means nothing more to me than a friend. And we're not kissy faced," I said defendingly.
    "Then why do you guys kiss almost everytime you see each other?"
    "I've known Ville all my life. Our parents were friends and me and Ville have known each other pretty much since we were in diapers. It's something we've always done ever since I can remember. And besides, it's not those sloppy, messy kisses that you and Jake do. It's kinda like a...well...like a kiss from a family member. You know, your lips are too puckered and their tight and dry. Yes, boring but not too wrong."
    "What does Lauri think about this?"
    "He doesn't know. But I'm breaking up with him tonight so it doesn't even matter."
    "What for?", she said, her head tilting a little.
    "Long story short, he's a creep."
    Peaches began to laugh hysterically. "He's gonna cry like a little baby!"
    "I know that," I sighed. Lauri had always been kind of a cry baby. Well at least he was when he was around me.
    I gave Peaches a hug before leaving to Ville's. It took about 15 minutes to get to Ville's house. Once I got there, I just walked in and headed to his room. I opened the door slowly to find Ville still sleeping. The fan was blowing right in his face and the curtains were pulled over his window. He was laying on his stomach, shirtless with the covers pulled up to his arms. His left arm was draped over the side of the bed and he still had his beanie on, having pulled it over his eyes. I walked over to his window and opened the curtains, letting the bright sunlight in. I took a few steps closer to him before jumping on him and rolling back over on the other side of his bed. "Wake up, Ville! It's the weekend! Time to get up and spend some time with Moon!"
    Ville moaned and turned his head to face me, keeping the rest of his body still. "Mmmmmm...I don't wanna", he said tiredly.
    "You don't wanna spend time with me? Well...I guess I'll just have to leave then", I joked. I didn't move though, just to see what Ville's imediate reaction would be. He twisted his bodyback into it's proper place and pulled the beanie above his eyes, staring blindingly at me.
    "Well good morning, Sunshine. The bear is awake and all the bees are stingin' him for grabbin' at their honey. Guess what, Ville. You're the bear and I'm the swarm of bees. Now get off my honey and kick it into gear."
    Ville pressed his face into the pillow a little while grabbing my hand. "You make no sense to me at all."
    I smiled and squeezed his hand. "Great, my goal in life is to never make sense to you, good to know it's working, now get up."
    I jumped out of Ville's bed and stood in the middle of his room waiting for him to get up. I stood with my hands on my hips and and tapped my foot. I finally got tired of waiting and dropped my purse to grab Ville's arm and drag him out, letting him fall to the floor.
    "You're so brutal", Ville commented.
    "Yeah and I'm about to get meaner if you don't get up. It's Saturday and the world is waiting for us to explore it. We need to find an area in which we've never been. We'll watch the sunset there and come back to your comfortable bed where we can once again, slumber in peace just like you've always wanted. But for right now, you are a young warrior and warrior's need to learn how to get out of bed to start their quests", I insisted.
    "Warriors' also need breakfast", Ville yawned.
    "What do you want?"
    "Your famous breakfast pizza. It's like Heaven on Earth."
    "Well of course it is 'cause I made it", I mused, while walking out of the room to the kitchen. Ville's parents must've still been gone on their vacation. They decided to go to Hawaii for awhile and they were going to bring Ville along with a friend of Ville's choice. Of course, he picked me but I had too many exams to get ready for. Since I couldn't go, Ville told his parents that he'd rather stay here with me. I got to the kitchen and whipped up my breakfast pizza that Ville loved so much. When it was done and I laid it on the table, Ville walked in wearing only his beanie and a pair of baggy blue jeans. He sat down and ate while I jibbered away about nonsense. Ville would feed me a bite from his fork every once in awhile. Once he was done I followed him to his room. I laid on his bed and kept right on talking about the same thing. Ville dug through his closet and drug out his favorite Rolling Stones shirt which he had cut the sleeves off of and a pair of jeans. Ville undressed and began to put his clean clothes on. I had seen Ville "in this state" before but I had never really paid much attention to it. I mean I knew what he looked like underneath all of his clothes but I would never make anything of it and I would never stare because it would just be too weird and awkward. I was glad to know that Ville had never seen me like that. I was a little more careful about things like that than Ville was. Once Ville was dressed, we hung out on his couch and looked at old magazines that we found in his parents' room that belonged to his mother. We would point out a star and make fun about how they looked or how they acted. We had found one that had a picture of Courntey Love and began to make fun of her.
    "Have you ever noticed that her lips are too big for her face?", I pointed out.
    "Yeah, but her hair is what gets me. It's like a little poodle. I bet even with the most powerful flat iron, You still wouldn't be able to get it down. NO WAIT! A steam roller."
    "Ville, you have a really vivid imagination", I giggled.
    "Yes, I do. But nothing better than your's."
    "And how is that?"
    "I don't know. But I do know that you're tickelish beyond compare", Ville said, burring his nose into the magazine.
    "Prove it", I said daringly.
    "Okay, but don't act like I never warned you", Ville cried while jumping in to tickle me. He was searching me everywhere, trying to find out where my tickelish spot was. I never laughed so he knew he hadn't caught it yet. You could tell he was getting frustrated with himself, yet thought it was funny at the same time. He finally gave up and went in for the full on attack. He jumped up on my lap and tackled at me fiercely until he finally got me laughing. He found my tickelish spot and he seemed to be proud of himself. I laughed, my face turning a silly pink while I tried to tickle him back. I eventually pushed him off of me, tackling him off the couch and otno the ground. I fall on top of him and smiled, ready to get my chance at running. "So you found my tickelish spot. Bet ya can't catch me, though." I jumped up and ran out the door and took off down the road, looking back to see Ville chasing after me. I sumped over a large wooden fance, not knowing what was behind it. I stopped in my tracks to see the most beautiful sight in my life. There was a beautiful meadow that extended into forever. It had tall pink, purple, and blue flowers everywhere and trees spread into different spots, there was a little pond that was about 2 yards away that had tiny fish in it. The sun shining on each flower, casting it's own perfectly made rainbow of three colors. Ville jumped over the fance and stopped right beside me. "Ville...this place is so beautiful."
    "Jeez. This is like something you would see from some kind of fairytale or somethin'", Ville said, gasping for his air back.
    "Ville, this could be our own secret place. All to ourselves, no one else has to know about it. We can come here whenever we need time to oursleves and we can watch the sunset together while we stick our toes in the little pond. This place seems like it was made just for us."
    "Apparently the people who built the fence thought otherwise. But hey, if they don't know, what could it do?"
    I walked over in front of the puddle and sat down, kicking my boots off. Ville sat next to me;did the same. We watched the blue sky turn into a bright orange and pink while we talked about all the things we could do here to make our days perfect. Once the sun started to set, Ville pulled my head onto his lap and began to stroke my hair. I was starting to fall asleep when my phone rang. I answered it without looking at the name and my heart sank when I heard Lauri's voice. I knew what I had to do and it was going to suck.
    "Hey, Moon. Did you think about what I asked last night?", Lauri asked, hopeful.
    I took in a deep breath and just told him what needed to be said. "Lauri...I didn't have to think about it 'cause I knew right away that my answer is no. I didn't wanna tell you last night 'cause I didn't wanna hurt you but I can't lead you on like this. I'm sorry. I love you but just not like I thought I did. We can still be friends though."
    There was a long silence until I head Lauri begin to cry. "You can't just leave me like that, Moon. I love you and we're meant to be together. And how can you expect not to hurt me. You're the only one I've ever loved enough to actually wanna marry and you dump all of this on me. Please don't leave me", Lauri sobbed.
    Hearing Lauri cry was too much for me to bear. I began to cry because I knew I was hurting him but there was nothing I could do about it. "I'm sorry...", I whispered, a tear going down my cheek. I couldn't hear him cry anymore so I hung up and turned my phone off. I began to sob fiercely. I wasn't upset about breaking up with Lauri, I was upset about hurting him the way I did. I sobbed into Ville's lap until Ville pulled me up and held onto me, letting me cry into his shoulder.
    "You'll be okay, I'm here for you. I won't ever leave your side. You can sleep in the bed with me tonight, would you like that?", Ville questioned.
    I didn't speak, I just nodded my head. Ville stood up and helped me up. He helped me climb back over the fence before he climbed over himself. We walked back to his house, hand-in-hand, in the pitch black while I cried. Once we got back, Ville headed back to his room while I grabbed one of Ville's shirts and changed in the bathroom. After I had changed, I started to cry so hard that I collapsed on the floor, shivering, wearing nothing but Ville's shirt and a pair of my shorts. I knew I was probably overreacting but I had a fear of losing people in my life and when something like this happened, I always went overboard. Ville knew it all too well and knew exactly how to help me in these situations. Ville must've heard me fall, knowing this since he opened the door and picked me up in his arms. This had been something that had happened many times before and probably wouldn't be the last time it would happen. Ville laid me down in his bed and pulled the covers up to my shoulders. He left and came back with half a glass of water, handing it to me. I took a few sips of it before handing it to Ville. He took a sip of it and laid it on the desk nect to his bed. Ville crawled in the bed next to me and pulled up the covers to his shoulders, also. He wrapped his arms around me and began to sing "Dear God" By Avenged Sevenfold that I had let him hear a couple of years ago. He would always do this on nights that I was upset. He would let me wear one of his shirts, he would give me a glass of water, he would cuddle up with me in his bed, and he would sing me to sleep with this song everytime. Eventually, my tears faded and I fell into a deep unconciousness, too deep into sleep to dream anything.

    Life can be tough. One minute it's wrapping it's caring arms around you and whispering "I love you", and the next, it's slapping you in the face, making you feel undeserving and low. I've always been the person to get the unlucky piece of the wishbone. My senior year in high school is so stressfull, what, with all of the exams and college applications. Love was also a big factor. I had never been one for romance. I've had a couple of boyfriends before, and yeah, it was nice, but I had always considered myself an independent woman and capable of fending for myself. But this year, I was feeling more alone than usual. Yes, I had loads, and I mean loads, of friends, but there is always that part of me that seems missing. Yes, I have a boyfriend right now, his name being Lauri Ylonen. He was from Finland, like a couple of other people I knew, and he's average height, somewhat built, had baby-face, black hair that he spikedway up inthe back with feathers neatly placed in them (yes, it's weird, but it's cute), and he wore all black. He's a good boyfriend but I knew he wasn't the right one. I love him but I'm not in love with him. I don't know if he knows, but I'd rather not tell him right now. And OH! By the way, my name is Caitlin, but you can call me Moon.
    I was sitting in my classroom, staring at the clock, watching it tick its way to that thick black line that meant freedom for the weekend. I was tapping my foot and biting my lip, holding onto my things, ready to jump out of my seat when it rang. I closed my eyes, tight, biting my lip even harder when the bell rang loud in my ear and I whispered, "Yes!"
    I ran to my locker and crammed everything in it except for my famous Jack Skellington purse. I slammed the locker door which echoed with my amazing friend's "Boo!" which scared me so much, I grew pale. I turned and whapped him in the arm with my purse.
    "Don't scare me like that!", I said, sighing while my heart calmed down.
    "Sorry, I couldn't resist", Ville's Finnish voice almost sang in my ear. Ville was one of my best friends, and I could very much say we'd been best buds since as far back as I could remember. He's a tall, skinny figure with a sleeve tattoo on his left arm and tattoos in other random places. He had a diamond shaped face with an upturned nose, high cheekbones, emerald green eyes which were always rimmed with jet black eyeliner, plump lips (which always seemed to grab the ladies' attention) and shoulder-length, brown curly hair which he always wore a black beanie over, leaving the ends of his hair to stick out in a frenzy. He always wore something different everyday. Today, he wore a black t-shirt that said "Black Sabbath" on it and black skinny jeans with black combat boots that were coming untied, and black, fingerless, knit gloves. Ville was a ladies' man and no one could ever deny it. Every girl that walked past him would stare him down, even the preppiest girls on the planet, who you would think would never even lay a finger on him. But yet, Ville being Ville, never paid half-a-mind to it. He was a one girl guy and would usually stay steady with a girl for quite some time. At this time, though, he was very much single and every girl had taken notice, waiting for their turn in line.
    Ville smiled and rocked back on his heels while he placed his hands in his pockets. "So get this...", Ville draped his arm across my shoulders while we walked, "I've got this exam that I've gotta do Monday and I need your smarts. You should come over to my house tonight and quiz me."
    My heart jumped again when Phoenix appeared from nowhere and grabbed me by my wrist, pulling me away from Ville, not letting me answer his question. Phoenix was another one of my friends that was a total rockstar but loved being a country girl at the same time. She started dragging me towards her car in the dreaded parking lot. Dreaded, meaning loads of hateful teachers. I looked back at Ville, him smiling and waving away, pushing himself through the double doors to get out.
    "Where are you taking me?"
    "It's been far too long. You're a homebody and you're a total bore lately so we're gonna figure out something to do today", she said while tugging at my arm to make me walk faster.
    "Thanks for the insult. But what are your ideas?" I questioned her, almost breaking my voice with fear of what she might do. You could always expect the unexpected with Phoenix.
    She replied, seeming anxious, "We're stopping by Anthie's to get some money and then we'll just go to a restaurant or something. After that, you pick."
    I hopped into the passengar side, closing the door while reaching for the seatbelt. Phoenix started the car faster than you could say...well.."faster". She pulled out of the little yellow painted box and took off flying down the highway. I gripped the handles of my purse, my knuckles turning white. "Can you slow down, please?!"
    She eased up on the gas pedal a little, the car slowing down along with it. I released my purse and caught my breath back. "Sorry", she giggled, amused by my scared face. She was a total rebel and proud of it.
    We got to Anthie's and walked in without knocking. It was common for us. Anthie was a few years older than us and out of high school already but looked more beautiful than ever. Anytime you go on a walk with her, be sure to expect a lot of whistles and whoops. We turned the corner when we reached the kitchen, finding her kissing Jussi, her boyfriend going on 2 years now. Phoenix looked at me with a twisted face and looked back at the embraced couple. She held her fist up to her mouth and did a little "Ehem" to catch their attention. Anthie pushed Jussi off her a little and her whole face began to turn pink. Jussi smiled at us, recognizing the feeling of being caught so many times and took off to the other room.
    Phoenix broke the silence without hesitaion. "Anthie, we need money."
    I turned to her and arched my eyebrows. "Phoenix...", I began, as if to warn her.
    Elaina, most commonly known as Lainabug, turned the corner and went straight for the fridge. Lainabug was another one of our friends who was most likely to be found at Anthie's, chilling somewhere in a room at her house. Lainabug was seeing another of our friends, named Matt Nicholls. They had been together for about a year and he treated Lainabug like gold.
    I was quick to jump in with a humorous, "Yeah, don't say 'hi', I see how it is, Lainabug."
    She turned to me, a Dr. Pepper in hand and smiled. "Hi. Happy now?"
    "Why yes, I am."
    Anthie cut in the middle of our 5 second conversation. "What do you guys need the moeny for?", she sighed with her lovely British accent, while folding her arms.
    Phoenix came back from zoning out and was quick to reply. "For a fun night. Or a fun weekend if you have extra money."
    Anthie left into the living room without a word and inched her way to her purse. She pulled out a wad of cash and counted the bills away. She handed us a $50 bill and smiled. "Have fun and don't get yourselves hurt or you'll know what's coming to you."
     "Thanks, Anthie, I loves you", I mused while hugging her tight. I let go of her and ran quickly out the door with Phoenix leading the way. We got into her car again, buckling myself in tightly, afraid to lose my breath again. Cars whizzed by while she took us to a restaurant at the edge of town, almost heading into the country. You could see corn fields about a mile away. Wegot in and gotour orders, chowing down on our favorite dishes. We talked about the exams coming up, which was pretty much what everyone in their senior year was talking about these days. It got quiet for a minute until Phoenix glanced over my shoulder and looked back at me with a tight smile, munching on her sandwhich.
    "Hey, Moon, you should totally go hit on that guy over there", she joked, finding it amusing.
    "Phoenix, I have a boyfriend, you know that."
    "Oh come on, you don't have to ask him for his number or anything, just do it for fun."
    "Well...", I looked back at the guy sitting a few tables away from us and sighed, "I guess, just for fun. I mean what could it hurt?"
    "There we go."
    I got up slowly and took small strides over to his table. When I reached it, I sat down next to him and smiled, holding my hand out to him, "Hi, my name's Moon. You?" I was getting nervous but I wasn't too nervous since the guy wasn't my type. He looked exaclty like a male model and that was a bit much for me. He smiled and grabbed my hand, giving it a firm shake.
    "Hi, I'm Brian. So what brings you over here?"
    I let out a slow breath and strained my voice from shaking. "Oh, I just seen you when I walked in with my friend and I thought you were too cute not to talk to. I'm kind of a bold woman if you haven't noticed already."
    "Yes, I've noticed...", he smiled, "...you're very bold. So how old are you?"
    He seemed to be in his mid 20's maybe, so I was quick to say an older age off the top of my head. "I'm 23...you?"
    "I'm 25. And I hate to break it to you, even though you're extremely gorgous, I have a -"
    In that sudden moment, a thin blonde woman, with skimpy clothes on stormed over and her voice boomed over Brian's. "Brian, who is this?!", She cried, demanding a response.
    Brian's smile faded and he dended himself, saying, "Julia, hi, um, this is uh, Moon, she came over to talk to me but I was just about to -"
    I heard a loud scream come from the woman and I felt a tight grip on my arm, pulling me up, The woman screamed in my face and slapped me as hard as she could. I tumbled to the ground where she stood over me and peered into my eyes. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath when she opened them again, seeming demonic. I heard Brian mutter something that sounded like a "No, don't..." but I was too focused on the woman to notice what he said. Mad girlfriends are most certainly not pleasant. She grabbed a pendant that was hooked around her neck and done a weird chant. "Love will surround you like April showers, man who has not yet found love and has been spoken to by you will love you to no end, but you shall not be loved by whom you desire most, may love torture your soul forever!", she spoke vividly. In that instant, the whole building went ablaze and the flames were crawling closer and closer to me by every second. I felt another pull at my elbow, but it was familiar this time.
    Phoenix pulled me out of the building, helping me into the car. She sped off, seeming as freaked out as I did by the whole situation. "What was wrong with that girl?", she freted.
    "I don't know but she's obviously crazy. I can't believe something like that could cause a whole building to catch on fire so fast."
    "What was she saying to you back there?"
    "I don't remember everything she said but I'm guessing she put some kind of violent love spell on me or somethin'. I don't think it'll work though, that stuff is bull shit. She's just crazy."
    "You've got that one right", Phoenix smiled.
    Phoenix dropped me off at my house where I went to my room and got on the computer to download some new music. I was dowloading so much that it took about an hour to get it all downloaded. After that, I jumped on my bed and began texting Ville on my cell phone..

Hey, Ville, how's it crackin???
                                                          ~*MoOn!DoVe*~

nm, jus tlkin 2 u n eatin pizza...u???
                                                       XxValoxX

wishin I was there eatin pizza with u
                                                             ~*MoOn!DoVe*~

Aww im sorry, ill save u a piece...btw, theres breaking news on tv about that little country restaurant...it jus caught fire about an hour ago
                                                          XxValoxX

i was there when it caught fire...long story...I'll tell u 2morrow when I come over
                                                               ~*MoOn!DoVe*~

Oooooo, im anxious now
                                                           XxValoxX

u should be..........................i miss u already
                                                                 ~*MoOn!DoVe*~

i miss u 2.....i miss u so bad :(
                                                              XxValoxX

but ill see u 2morrow so don't miss me 2 much
                                                                    ~*MoOn!DoVe*~

idk if that's possible...i miss u every second im not with u
                                                                 XxValoxX

    I knew it seemed strange but Ville and I have always talked this way. I loved Ville but I didn't love him in that special way. He's always just been a really close friend and we've gotten used to talking that way. Right when I got the message, Lauri's number showed up on my phone.

awwww...same here...but hey, i g2g cuz Lauri is callin me...ill text 2morrow...love u
                                                                            ~*MoOn!DoVe*~

kk...love u 2
                                                                      XxValoxX

    I answered the phone without hesitaion. "Hello?"
    "Hey, Moon", Lauri chimed with his light Finnish voice.
    "Hey, what are you up to?", I yawned.
    "I was just calling you to let you know how much I love you. I love you so much. I'd do everything for you as long as it made you happy. You're everything to me. I love you so, so very much, more than words can tell", Lauri rambled on, almost slurring his words together. This was so unusual for Lauri. He never talked to me like this. He never told me how much he loved me. This was a bit odd.
    "I...I love you, too", I responded, biting my lip.
    Lauri was anxious in reply. He jumped right in without stopping for a second. "I know this is so sudden and we've only been together about a month but I know that I'm in love with you now and I wanna be with you forever. Moon...will you marry me?"
    My jaw dropped and I felt my face turning red. There was no way I was going to marry him. Notwanting to hurt him, I whispered, "I'll get back to you on that", and hung up the phone. Lauri kept calling over and over until I finally just turned my phone off. I changed into my pajamas and laid down. I closed my eyes and fell asleep, the flames from the fire earlier on that day, haunting my dreams.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

well that was my first chapter :) I hope u liked it...n btw, if u don't kno who that is at the top...well, that's me :D *surpriiiiise!* lol comment plz!

so I'm like extremely anxious 2 put up the first chapter 2 my new story, Geranium...I wanted 2 post it 2day but I hadn't hung out with Elaina outsied of school in awhile so I decided 2 take 2day 2 hang out with her...but I promise u, my friends, I WILL...be writing 2morrow...unless sumthin sudden er unexpected happens...other than that, I promise I will...thnx fer understanding! :)

"I want ur ugly, I want ur disease, I want ur everything as long as it's free, I want ur love...love, love, love, I want ur love...I want ur drama, the touch of ur hand, I want ur leather studded kiss in the scene, I want ur love...love, love, love, I want ur love..." - Lady GaGa

sorry, been listenin 2 this song a lot...lol

~Valos, Letos, and GaGas~,
-KittylovesPetemorethanu
*Caitlin*

p.s. like my new signature??? I replaced "love, hearts, and daggers" with "Valos, Letos, and GaGas" lol

if u haven't already, u should go check out my page...I kno u'll love it ;D lol

okay, first off, if u wanna kno the meaning of my title, then u can look it up...I don't wanna give anything away...lol...n these r gonna be the ppl that r in my story *I must warn u, there's a lot*...I have pics posted of the characters n who they r n things like that...now if there's no pic, that means I didn't get permission or I couldn't find one

ME, Caitlin! *of course* (will be known as Moon)

Elaina (will be known as Lainabug)

Brittany (will be known as Peaches)

Jessie (will be known as Snowbud)

Summer (will be known as Smilee)

Savanna (will be known as Dead Girl)

Anthonia (will be known as Anthie ♥)

Phoenix (will be known as...well....Phoenix) lol

*no pic*

Ville Valo

Jared Leto (the one in the middle)

Brendon Urie

Jake Gyllenhaal

Gerard Way

Taylor Lautner

Lauri Ylonen

Bam Margera

Matt Nicholls

wiL Francis

John Mayer

Caleb Followill (the one in the front)

 

now since I'm pretty sure not everyone will remember who is who with all the nicknames, I will be sure 2 mention the real names in the first few chapters n say which nicknames go with which...I will post the new chapter in a few days *gonna be very busy this weekend...otherwise, I would post it 2morrow* n btw, comment if u see anyone u might kno er what u think of these ppl being in the story :) I'll be glad 2 hear from u

-KittylovesPetemorethanu
*Caitlin*

    The blurred light above me was all coming towards my face at once. I waited there for a minute to let all the fuzziness to go away. The hospital room seemed bigger than the last time I had been here. I moaned and looked to my left to see Ville's beautiful face. He had his right arm on the hospital bed, propping his head up. His eyes were closed and his arm was pushing against his face, making his cheek look pudgy. He was sound asleep, like a little baby. I didn't want to wake him. I just watched him snooze away for the longest time. While I was watching him, I started to feel a throbbing pain on the right side of my face. I touched it with the tip of my fingers and flinched back from the pain. Ville must've noticed my sudden movement because when I looked back at him, his head was up and his eyes were drooping, yet open. Ville's voice was raspy and muttered.

Ville: "Hey. It's good to see you up."

Me: "You, too."

    Ville grabbed my hand and kissed me softly.

Ville: "I was so scared for you."

Me: "How bad is it?"

Ville: "Well, you had a few cracks in your skull but they fixed that right up. And the right side of your face is well...uh...I'll just say this: Severely purple and blue."

Me: "Oh, that's just great."

Ville: "Don't worry about it. You're still beautiful."

    Ville kissed my forehead and brushed my hair out of my face.

Me: "Wait! Is the baby okay?"

Ville: "They done a scan and the baby is fine. The little cutie is still growing in your tummy perfectly."

Me: "Thank God. So what all happened after I passed out?"

Ville: "Well uh...I got Danny down to the ground and I wrestled the hammer out of his hand. I threw it into the neighbors yard and gave Danny a few punches he'll never forget. Apparently, one of your neighbors down the road heard you scream and was smart enough to call the police. The next thing I knew, Danny was getting arrested and I was in the back of the hospital truck with you, holding your hand and balling my eyes out. Please don't ever scare me like that again."

    Ville buried his face into my shoulder. He turned to face me, his head still laying on my shoulder. I ran my fingers through his hair and kissed his cheek.

Me: "Don't worry. I promise I won't scare you ever again."

Ville: "What had gotten into you anyways?"

Me: "Well...he pushed me and I just reached my breaking point. I went crazy on him. I punched him in the face too many times to count, I kicked him once in the stomach and once in the head. I even picked him up by his neck and lifted him up off his feet. I slammed him against the wall and tripped him and everything else. I busted him up pretty good, didn't I?"

Ville: "I would say so, he looked terrible. I'll be sure to never make you mad."

Me: "Ville, you're not Danny.I know you wouldn't ever be able to make me as mad as much as he did."

Ville: "I'm just so glad you're okay."

Me: "I love you."

Ville: "I love you, too."

    I kissed him and in that moment, I was relieved to know that I wouldn't have to worry about Danny anymore.

    After I got out of the hospital, I filed for divorce from Danny. After my face had heeled up, it had left two long scars that looked like I had been clawed in the face by a werewolf all down the right side og my face from my timple next to my eye down to a few inches from the corner of my mouth. They were permanent scars that would never fade and would be there for the rest of my life but I didn't care. I actually appreciated them because they were scares of a brave and couragious woman. A strong warrior. These scars meant victory.
    After I had filed for divorce, Ville and I got married right away. We had a beautiful wedding in the church that I grew up in. The 8 months after Ville and I got married, I had little Brittany Jessie-Laina Valo. I was glad to have all of my friends back and being able to my baby girl after them was an honor. Even though she never went by Brittany, she always went by "Lil' Anthie" because she seemed to be just like a mini version of Anthie. Anthie had always watched over Lil' Anthie whenever we needed her to. Anthie and Jussi were always together and seemed to be the ideal couple. Hesekiel came back shortly after Ville and married Ell Bee as soon as he got there. Brittany and Jake were married also. Jessie and Taylor had a little baby boy named Taylor JR. Lil' Anthie and Taylor JR. were best friends. Summer and Bam were expecting their first child also. Having this kind of life is what I had always dreamed of. Ville and I had a get-together with out friends every weekend to celebrate the most wondeful life God could offer.

 

The End

 

Hope u liked it! :D 

so I was like tlking 2 Brittany on the phone when I got on heartagram.com n I heard an unfamiliar song playing in the mixture of my John Mayer song...so I turned off my John Mayer music n played the unfamiliar music again on heartagram...n then after I heard Vill'es beautiful voice singing "Heartkiller" 2 me, I started 2 FLIP.....OOOOOOUUUUUT...like no joke, I was all jumpin n I couldn't breathe...Brittany was tellin me 2 breathe so I finally caught my breath after awhile...*no, I'm not lying about this*...n then Brittany had 2 get off the phone so I called Elaina...so I let Elaina listen 2 the song n she was laughin at me like crazee cuz I kept makin funny noises n I kept going like "I'm so happy!" n I was laughing like my dad which is rly goofy like...n Elaina told me I sounded like I jus smoked a joint *don't worry, I don't do that stuff* n I kept sayin that I need 2 tlk 2 Anthie...n then she started playin Matchbox 20 4 me 2 calm me down, since Rob Thomas's voice is the only thing that can put me 2 sleep *strangely*...n the whole time I kept sayin "HOOOOOOO!!! MICHAEL JACKSON!" lol...anyways, I'm still tlkin 2 Elaina on the phone n singing 2 Lady GaGa, a little calm down now...but I'm afraid 2 listen 2 HIM's new song again cuz I'm afraid I'll have another attack like that again...lol... crazee huh???

    I felt nudging all over my body. I woke up and turned my head to see Ville holding onto my tightly, shivering. It was actually quite cold in this room and all of the blankets were at the foot of the bed. I eased out of Ville's arms, careful not to wake him up. He was shivering perfusely. I grabbed the blankets and pulled them up to his shoulders, covering him completely. He stopped shivering almost imediately and let out a sigh. I kissed his cheek before I put my clothes back on. I wrote Ville a note that read: Ville, I'm going back home. I promise I'll stop by in a little while. I love you... Pilot.
    I put the note on the coffee table next to the bed and headed out the door. I got home while Danny was still sound asleep. I took a shower and fixed my make up, which was running down my face. I headed to the kitchen to find the sink stacked with dirty dishes. It smelled awful. I obviously hadn't been with it lately. I turned on the water and filled the sink with soap, scrubbing at the dishes. I was beginning to get frustrated with a dish that had a tricky stain on it when I felt arms being wrapped around my waist and soft kisses on my neck. My heart was racing, but not like when Ville had done things like this. This was strange, very strange. Danny hadn't done anything like this since he started hitting me. I was starting to shiver from being nervous. He was up to something, I wasn't quite sure what it was, but it was certainly something. He reached my ear when he started talking to me in low, seductive murmers.

Danny: "I've missed you."

Me: "What do you mean you've missed me? I've been here the whole time."

Danny: "No, I mean I miss you in general. I miss the old days."

    I couldn't believe my ears. But yet again, I no longer trusted him. I knew he was lying to me and that he was trying to fool me. I wasn't going to fall under pressure. I turned around to face him.

Me: "I'm not sure if I get what you mean."

Danny: "What I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry...for everything. I know I've done so many bad things to you. Too many to name. I hit you, I raped you, I cheated on you, and that's only the beginning. I want it to be like when we were first married. We were so happy and now look at us. I know that I shouldn't be forgiven, but I woke up this morning and I just realized how wrong I was and how much I really DO love you."

    Lies. All lies. I knew not to believe anything that passed his lips. I was done being bullied. But I decided to play along with his little game. Maybe I would find out what he's really up to and I would be able to play the game back on him.

Me: "Do you really mean it?"

    I tried to make myself seem as vulnerable as I could.

Danny: "Of course. I love you."

Me: "I love you, too."

    I could taste of disgust on my tounge. Telling him this and not meaning it was sickening to me. Saying it to Ville was so easy because loving him was easy. Danny pressed his soft lips against mine, moving his arms to hold me tight. I kissed back, dreading it. Danny kissed me like the first time we shared one. The memory of roller skating with him was beginning to come back to me. The memory flashed from one scene to the other, slowing down at the moment that we kissed for the first time. Danny was being so easy and so caring with me, it was beginning to get a little creepy. This was so not normal. Danny pressed his lips onto mine even harder than before. I started to feel guilty now, feeling the love I had for him again overtaking me. I was beginning to realize that missing him had really taken affect on me. I had forgotten how sweet his love was. I was falling under now and I couldn't stop myself, now matter how hard I tried. I forced myself to think of Ville, but every time I would see his face in my mind, it would fade just as quick as it came to me. My lips were moving right along with Danny's and everything wrong that he had done to me was all of a sudden gone in one moment. Danny pulled away and smiled at me, seeming devilish.

Danny: "That was wonderful."

Me: "Yeah...I know."

    I was slapping myself in my imagination...slapping the sense into me. GO GET VILLE, YOU IDIOT! DANNY IS TRICKING YOU, PUTTING YOU UNDER HIS SPELL. DON'T FALL FOR ANY OF IT! I was right for once this time. No matter how bad it would hurt him, I needed to tell Ville what had just happened.

Me: "Danny, I need to go out. Is that okay with you? I just need to go on a walk and think."

Danny: "Sure, but don't be gone too long. I wanna see you."

    Getting weirder.

Me: "Okay, thanks."

    I got out of Danny's hold and walked out the door before he could kiss me again. I drove to the hotel, cussing myself out on the way, calling myself every rotten name in the book. I was so frustrated with myself I began to cry and grit my teeth. When I got there, I ran to his room door and kept knocking on it until he opened the door. I flung myself into his arms, still sobbing.

Me: "I'm so sorry."

    I burried myself into his shoulder and hugged him tightly.

Ville: "Sorry for what?"

    I pulled free from the hug to look at him in the face. I needed to be a woman about it and tell him straight to his face.

Me: "Um. When I got home, Danny was acting...well...different. He was being all sweet and charming. He kissed me and the worst part..."

    My voice broke and the sobs got worse, bringing my voice to a whisper.

Me: "...was that I couldn't bring myself to stop. And if you don't want me now, I understand. I'm clearly not completely over Danny but I'm not over you either. I never will be. I'm so afraid of losing you again. But if it means keeping you happy, I'll do what it takes."

    Ville grabbed me and pulled me in. He held onto me tight and kissed my forehead.

Ville: "I'm not mad at you. I understand that you can't let someone you were with for that long go so fast. As long as you love me more and won't ever leave me, that's all that matters."

Me: "Thank you. Thank you so much."

    Ville lifted my head up by my chin, using his hand to tilt it up. He kissed me softly and grinned.

Ville: "Do you think you'd be up for what we were gonna do last night?"

Me: "Well it wouldn't hurt to try."

    We repeated everything from the night before, starting from the beginning. It hurt a little, but certainly not like last night. It was actually quite pleasing, if you ask me. I had wanted this for so long and to finally get it and not let it slip from underneath me was absolutely wonderful. When it was finally over, my phone started to ring, obviously Danny. Perfect timing. I quickly rushed to put my clothes on and head home.

    It's been a few of weeks and Danny was still acting unusually charming. I still went to see Ville everyday and went out to have fun, hand-in-hand. I hadn't told Ville but I had missed my "monthly gift" when it was supposed to happen 2 weeks ago. I was feeling funny in my stomach and I knew there was something going on. Standing in Wal-Mart...in the "women's" area...looking at all of the different brands of pregnancy tests was making my hands shake. I bit my lip and closed my eyes with a sigh. I grabbed one and bought it, taking the test in the store's bathroom. I didn't want to take it at home and get Danny all worked up. I knew that if I was, it wouldn't be Danny's because Danny hadn't raped me any in these past few weeks and he never offered to do anything so I just avoided it. After I had taken the test, I stayed in the bathroom, pacing the floors, waiting for the little red plus sign or the little blue minus sign. My heart was racing. I kept looking at the box, even though I had already read it several times. In this situation, a minute seemed like a whole year. After it had been a little over a minute, I closed my eyes tight and held in my breath. I grabbed the test from the sink and opened my eyes to see what the results were. As I expected, that little minion of a red plus sign was staring me right in the face, screaming "GEUSS WHAT! YOU'RE PREGNANT! NOW BREAK IT TO VILLE AND WATCH HIM FLIP OUT!". I sighed and threw the test away, along with the box. I knew what I had to do now and it was scaring me to death.
    I left the stoor and took off to the hotel, my whole body quivering from the thought of that little red plus sign and what it stood for. I got to Ville's hotel room and let myself in. There was no need for knocking, this was important. Ville came around the corner from the kitchen and amiled.

Ville: "Well hello. This is a surprise."

    I muttered to myself under my breath.

Me: "You haven't gotten the real surprise yet."

    I spoke up after my muttering moment was over.

Me: "Ville you should sit down. I have to talk to you."

Ville: "Um. Okay."

    Ville sat down on the bed and I sat down next to him, grabbing his hand in mine.

Me: "Ville. Please don't freak out when I tell you this. It's really important and I need you every step of the way."

Ville: "Don't worry, I'm here. Now what is it?"

Me: "Um...I uh...I'm sorta...well not sorta, I AM...umm..."

Ville: "Come on, tell me."

    I took in a deep breath and let it go when I spoke.

Me: "I'm...uh...I'm pregnant...and it's most definately yours."

    Ville's face was taken over with shock at first until he started glowing with delight. He put a hand on either side of my face and kissed me passionately. He pulled away and had a wild smile on his face.

Ville: "I can't believe this! This is so amazing! I'm gonna be a father!"

    Ville kissed my forehead again before worry washed over his face.

Ville: "What are we gonna do about Danny?"

Me: "I'm gonna file for divorce. And then we can get married and start our own little family."

Ville: "When is all of this gonna happen?"

Me: "I'm gonna break it to Danny today. I'm gonna tell him that I want a divorce."

Ville: "Oh...okay. Well, you need to get going then."

Me: "Yes, I believe I do."

    I gave Ville a kiss before I left to go home. I walked in the door where Danny was watching TV. I didn't care anymore, I just blurted out what was needed to be said.

Me: "Danny, I want a divorce."

    Danny stood up and looked amazed at what I had just said. He got up in my face and had that look that he used to have right before he hit me.

Danny: "What for?"

Me: "I'm sick of being pushed around. I'm not falling for your stupid little games. I'm done. You're not going to take control of me anymore. Once I'm out, you won't be able to lay a finger on me."

Danny: "You're cheating on me, aren't you?"

Me: "Yes, Danny, I am. But it's no different from you and Sandra. I know you two are still seeing each other. All of your shirts smell like perfume and they always have some kind of odd stain on them."

    Danny barely pushed me and I stumbled back, almost hitting the door.

Danny: "It's that Ville guy, isn't it?!"

Me: "You'll never know. And don't you EVER TOUCH ME AGAIN!"

    I flung my arm back and punched Danny in the face as hard as I could. It felt good to finally be able to hit him back. Maybe I'd get to see him bleed in return for all the times he made me bleed. I watched Danny fall to the ground and I was laughing on the inside. I was so proud of myself. The next thing I knew, Danny was up again and he grabbed me by the shirt, throwing me against the wall. I was quick to get up and charge after him. I jumped on him, knocking him to the ground again. I had him pinned and I threw one punch after the other, trying to break every bone in Danny's face. I was furious and I was so taken over by the anger that I couldn't stop myself. Danny got the strength to push me off of him. He picked me up off the ground and grabbed me from the back of the head, slamming in into the wall repeatedly. I lifted up my leg and kicked him in the stomach with great force. I touched the side of my face and found my fingers covered in blood. I looked at Danny, who had fallen back in the recliner. His face was dripping in blood from the many times that I had struck him in the face. I stormed over to him and grabbed him by the neck and squeezed tight. He would finally know what it was like to be strangled. I knew I was weak and I knew that he weighed more than I did and was stronger than me, but something in me kept pulling. I used every muscle in my body, using all of my strength, I lifted him up, off of his feet, just like he done to me the night he first suspected me cheating on him. I turned around and slammed him as hard as I could on the wall, right next to the big hole where he had threw me the last time. I held him there and watched him struggle. I wasn't planning to kill him but I was planning to watch him suffer. After he started to turn red, I let him go and watched him collapse to the floor. He was on his hands and knees, trying to get his air back. Just then, I kicked him in the side of the head. His head hit the living room door and bounced back. He seemed to be in great pain. I figured I'd let him go now that my job was done. I started to walk away to the bedroom when I felt him grab onto my leg, causing me to fall flat on my face. It knocked the wind out of me so bad that it took me a few minutes to realize where I was again. By the time I had came back to reality, I seen Danny standing before me wiith a hammer. I had really did it this time. I rolled over and twisted, kicking the bend of Danny's leg to knock him over. I grabbed my cell phone and ran outside while I dialed Ville's number.

Ville: "Hello?"

    I screamed a bloodcurdling scream. The only reason why I screamed was because I spotted Danny behind me, holding the hammer above his head. I took off running as fast as I could into the dark yard. I dropped the phone, not thinking. I ran as fast as my legs would take me, the muscles pumping and working harder than normal. I got around to the back and his inside a ditch that was for the crawlspace underneath the house. I heard Danny's footsteps in the grass. I was hoping he wouldn't notice me since it was too dark to see. Danny walked right past me, not noticing I was there. I looked to my right where I seen a big black of wood. I grabbed it and very quietly, crawled out of the ditch. I snuck up behind Danny and hit him on the back of the head with the board with great force. I took off running again, making it to the gravel driveway when I tripped over a large rack and fell on the side of my face into the long stretch of rocks. I felt my skin break when it hit the rocks, numbing the side of my face. I turned on my back to see Danny walking my way, hammer in hand. I screamed to the top of my lungs, now knowing that it hurt to much to stand up. I heard a car pull in the driveway behind me and I heard Ville's sweet voice. He yelled something but I couldn't make it out. I screamed so loud and I was hurt so bad that I was losing conciousness. The last thing I seen was Danny standing over me with the hammer above his head once more, and a swift movement coming from the left, getting ready to attack Danny.

    I opened my tear stained eyes to see myself where I had been the night before. Same setting. I got up, carefully, being sure Danny wouldn't wake up. He must've done "his dirty work" to me while I was unconcious. I put my clothes on and headed to the living room. The house still seemed to be in place, all except the wall that Danny threw me up against. There was a big hole where my back had hit it. I looked down at the coffee table to see my call phone in mint condition. I stared at it for a long while, zoning out into deep thought. It started ringing and starlted me. I gasped and was quick to retrieve my phone before it woke Danny up.

Me: "Hello?"

Ville: "Pilot, are you alright?"

Me: "My head sort of hurts but other than that, I'm fine."

Ville: "I heard you scream over the phone and I swear, it was the most terrifying thing I think I've heard all of my life."

Me: "I'm sorry."

Ville: "You shouldn't be apologizing, Danny should."

Me: "No, I'm not apologizing for the screaming, I'm apologizing for what I done to you. I'm really sorry. It was stupid of me to do. I've just been tortured for a long while and wanted to know what it felt like to hit back. It shouldn't have been you, but it was and I'm sorry."

Ville: "Don't be silly. I forgave you before it ever happened."

    I then heard a car horn go off and a zoom of a car rushing by through the phone.

Me: "Where are you?"

Ville: "I'm in my car. I'm coming to get you."

    I tried not to be loud but I was stern with him. I whispered loud and angrily.

Me: "What?! No, Ville, you can't, he'll come after me!"

Ville: "He doesn't know where my hotel room is. He won't be able to find you there."

Me: "Ville, all of my things are here. I can't get them all in this amount of time. Danny is just in the other room."

Ville: "We're not getting your things tonight. You're just going to spend the night with me. Just get what you need for tonight and I'll be there in a few minutes."

Me: "What time is it?"

Ville: "2:30 in the morning."

Me: "Um. Okay, I'll hurry."

Ville: "I'll see you in a little while."

Me: "Bye."

Ville: "Bye."

    I creeped into the bedroom where Danny was snoring loudly. I grabbed everything I would need from that room. I went into the bathroom and brushed my teeth. I noticed a little bruise on my cheek where the phone had hit me. I put on make up to keep Ville from worrying more. I put on my eye make up and straightened my hair to make sure Ville wouldn't notice how bad Danny really hurt me. I figured looking more normal would keep him from turning around and beating the shit out of Danny. I went into the kitchen and snuck a cherry tootsie pop from Danny's secret jar. He would notice since cherry was his favorite but I felt more like I didn't have that much to worry about. I sat down on the couch and unwrapped the sucker, popping it in my mouth and tossing the wrapper on the floor. Doing this gave me a sensation of accomplishment. Danny would get over it.
    I seen headlights reflect off of the TV screen. I got up and stepped out into the cold air. It was freezing when the only things I wore was my Garfield pj bottoms, my Tweety Bird t-shirt , and my pink plaid high tops. I got in the car next to Ville, shivering, my teeth chattered and the goosebumps were taking over my body. Ville didn't say anything the whole way back. It was unusual for him since he was a chatterbox. He seemed to be lost in thought, like he was plotting something. Once we got to the hotel, the lights from the windows and signs being the only light, Ville helped me out of the car. He grabbed my hand and walked me into the hotel. Once we got in the doors, Ville turned to me, biting his lip.

Ville: "Wait here."

    I watched him head over to the front desk to talk to a woman that was standing there. I was still shivering. The doors didn't keep the cool air out that good. I started shivering again, my teeth chattering. Ville came back and looked into my eyes. He pressed his body against mine and hugged me tightly. He dug his face into my neck. I could feel his warm breath on my pores, sending more shivers into my spine. My teeth started chattering violently. Ville pulled his head back to smile at me.

Ville: "I can't get you warm for nothing."

    I started talking inbetween chatters.

Me: "Ccan we go t-to your r-...room?"

Ville: "Sure."

    Ville grabbed my hand and led me up to his room. Once we got in, he let go of my hand and started for the bathroom.

Ville: "You can just lay your things down anywhere you want."

    It was a whole lot warmer in his hotel room. The chattering stopped but the shivers didn't.. I just dropped my things on the floor. and sat down on the bed. Ville came back and tossed a long sleeved shirt at me.

Ville: "That should keep you warm."

Me: "Thanks."

    I pulled it on over the shirt I was already wearing. The shivering finally stopped, too. His shirt smelled exactly like his jacket. I laid in his bed and pulled the covers up to my shoulders. It was warm, just like his hugs. Ville turned the TV on and changed it to Jackass. It was at a scene with Johnny Knoxville. Ville kicked off his shoes and socks and pulled his shirt off. I hadn't seen him without a shirt on in so long, I had forgotten how mezmerizing it was. I couldn't help it but to smile and blush. Ville turned to see me smiling like a little school girl again. He smiled back at me.

Ville: "What are you smiling about?"

Me: "Oh, nothing."

    Ville turned off all of the lights so the only light was from the TV. Ville crawled into the bed next to me.

Ville: "It doesn't look like nothing."

    I tuned over to face him.

Me: "But it IS nothing."

Ville: "You like what you see, don't you?"

    Ooooooh shit. Ville had caught me. I smiled so hard my face hurt. Ville smiled a flirtacious smile and winked at me. He scooted closer to where his face was inches from mine. I could feel his breathing on my face and I loved it. I giggled and bit my lip.

Me: "Maybe..."

Ville: "Well that's good to know."

    My eyes were beginning to droop and I could finally feel how tired I was. I sighed while smiling and closed my eyes. I felt Ville get closer and press his body against mine again. I grabbed onto the blankets and pulled them closer. I felt Ville lay his right arm across my side and use his left hand to play with my hair. He was twirling it in his fingers and then would release it and do it again. It was making me even more relaxed than before and was making me drift into sleep. Ville moved again and nestled his face into my neck again. I felt him kiss my neck which sent my heart racing. I opened my eyes wide. I could almost feel them bugging out of my head. I could tell Ville felt my heart racing. I knew he was enjoying the fact that what he was doing was driving me crazy. I didn't move, I just closed my eyes and sighed, accidentally. I hated how I always let things slip like that. Ville dug his head deeper into my neck and kissed it again, It sent chills up my spine and made me gasp. Shit...I really need to stop doing that. I felt Ville laugh a little. He was starting to get playful and all I wanted was for him to keep going but not get too playful. I wanted him to let me sleep because I was so tired but the feeling he gave me was so irresistable. I felt Ville kiss my neck again, anxious to see my next reaction. I felt like sighing again but I bit my lip and kept it in this time. I was glad Ville couldn't see my face. I just made him believe that I was getting too tired. I felt him kiss my neck for the 4th time but this time, he bit me a little. My whole body twitched and I gasped again. The chills were almost too good to be true. Ville laughed again and began kissing my neck repetitively. I never knew I was leading him on this bad but yet again, I don't think I had given him any sign before that I still wanted him. He started kissing his way up to my jawline, almost reaching my face. I began shivering again, he was giving me so many chills. I opened my eyes when he stopped, to see his lips about to touch mine. My instant reaction was to put my finger on lips and stop him. He opened his eyes and seemed surprised.

Me: "Ville...I...I just don't know...I mean...I..."

    I didn't know why but I just couldn't think of the right words to tell him. I couldn't tell him how I really felt about this situation.

Ville: "Please, Pilot...just one kiss. That's all I ask for. My whole life would be complete if I could just kiss you one more time."

Me: "Ville, I-I...I just can't...Believe me, I want to, but I can't."

Ville: "It's Danny, isn't it?"

Me: "Ville, it's..."

    He wouldn't let me finsih before he cut in.

Ville: "You know, you guys are over. I know you know that. You don't love him anymore, at least not like you used to, and he most certainly doesn't love you anymore either. You let that sick bastard beat the shit out of you and then you come running back to him like he's some perfect little angel. But here I am now...I'm your one chance at a perfect life again but you just want to have the old Danny back so bad that you don't realize that I'm right in front of your face..."

    I started to cry because I knew he was right once again. Ville began to stroke my cheek.

Ville: "...Pilot, he's not gonna come back. He may be there physically but the old Danny won't ever come back. I'm still Ville, I still want to be with you but if you're not going to realize that, then I don't want anything to do with you. Being near you kills me on the inside because I know you're married and that you won't let your shithead husband go. I can't be near you if I can't have you..."

    I saw a tear go down Ville's cheek and I heard him choke up a bit.

Ville: "...Just...just please don't lead me on to think that you really care about me and that you want to be with me too if you're just going to run back to him. I can't stand the thought of you being knocked around like a punching bag but if you really want to stay with him, I guess there really IS nothing I can do about it. The only thing I can do for you now is be here for you. And I'm hoping that'll be enough to get to you and make you come back to me."

    I was in complete shock. I never knew that he really wanted me that bad. I never knew that he wanted the same exact thing as me. Everything he said was the truth and there was no way of denying it. I knew that what I was about to tell him was stupid but being married to Danny kept me tied up.

Me: "Ville...I know now that I HAVE been leading you on. I don't know how or why but I guess whatever I'm doing, it's working. I'm married Ville. Yes, I'm married to a total idiot, but he's been there for me for 4 and a half years. I can't just up and leave him like that."

    Ville stared me in the face and anger began to take him over. He was upset and I was stupid for telling him what I just told him but I was scared. I was afraid that if I got with Ville then I would lose him again like I did the first time. Ville bit his lip before speaking again.

Ville: "Just get out then."

Me: "Ville...where will I go?"

Ville: "Back to your stupid ass husband. Because that's where you ALWAYS go. Because I guess that someone who tells you they love you and then punches you in the face is a real husband."

    I didn't say anything. I just got up and pulled his shirt off. I was about to grab my things when everything that had happened in the past all came back to me. I was getting furious and now it was my time to tell Ville how stupid he really was. I turned around to see Ville standing up, putting his shirt back on.

Me: "You know, Ville. If I'M  the stupid one here, then why the HELL DID YOU LEAVE ME FOR ANOTHER GIRL?!"

    I took three long strides to get to Ville and get up in his face.

Me: "I loved you...I loved you so much, I loved you with all of my heart and that's why I never gave up hope, that's why I never gave up trying. I thought 'well hey, since he loves me, he'll come back for me when he gets the chance, right?'. Well no, I was DEAD wrong. I come home one night to Elaina's to hear her tell me that YOU found someone else. That YOU were happy and that I should be, too. That YOU wanted to stay friends and thst YOU weren't good at long distance relationships. I called EVERY NIGHT! I SENT YOU LETTERS! I BOUGHT YOU SHIT FOR ALL OF IT JUST TO GO TO WASTE! YOU NEVER PICKED UP THE PHONE AND ANSWERED OR CALLED ME BACK! YOU NEVER WROTE ME BACK! YOU KNOW WNY? BECAUSE YOU WERE FUCKING SOME OTHER CHICK WHILE I WAS HANGING OUT WITH DANNY, WISHING HE WAS YOU! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW SHITTY IT FEELS TO SPEND EVERY WAKING NIGHT OF YOUR LIFE, TOSSING AND TURNING, CRYING, AND LONGING FOR THE PERSON YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH?! NO, I GUESS YOU DON'T OR YOU WOULDN'T HAVE GIVEN UP ON ME! I'VE GOT CUTS AND BRUISES, I GET HIT FOR ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! I GET HIT FOR LOVING AND CARING FOR HIM! I GET RAPED EVERY NIGHT ALL BECAUSE I DON'T FEEL LIKE HAVING SEX AT THE MOMENT! YOU MAY THINK THAT I'M THE STUPID ONE RIGHT AT THE MOMENT, BUT NOW THAT IT'S ALL IN THE CLEAR, YOU'RE THE ONE THAT LOOKS LIKE THE REAL ASSHOLE!"

    I turned around and picked up my things, not looking back at him. I knew telling him that would get to him. I started to walk away when I felt Ville grab my wrist. I dropped my things, ready to turn around and slap the shit out of him. He pulled on me, spinning me around into his arms. He looked deep into my eyes and I swear, I could see fire burning.

Ville: "I'm sorry for all of that. I was stupid. I was an idiot for doing that. After I got with her, I realized what a big mistake I had made. I cried every night because I knew I had lost you forever. But then when I seen you a couple of days ago...I couldn't help it but smile. Every part of my body ached for you and my heart finally felt complete again. Seeing you again was the highlight of my life. I figured that since you and Danny aren't having the best life, that maybe you'd like to be with me again. I just wanna forget all of the bad things that happened in the past. I wanna focus on right here, right now. I wanna start fresh. I wanna be with you...forever."

    My heart started racing faster and faster again. I was done telling him how upset I was with him and I was done running back to Danny. What I wanted most was right here and there was no sense in letting it go now.

Me: "I want to be with you, too."

Ville: "I love you. I love you so much."

    It had felt like forever since I heard those words coming from his lips. I felt myself beginning to tear up. I was finally with the love of my life and I would never let him go.

Me: "I love you so much, too."

Ville: "I think I might kiss you now."

Me: "Okay."

    Ville pulled me tighter against him and kissed me, hard. Feeling his lips again was like magic. Our lips were moving like they had when we were together before. I missed kissing like this. I felt him stick his tounge in my mouth and I my heart began to pound against my chest. We kissed passionately, the kiss geting more intense by the second. I felt him kissing me even harder, like as if the the kiss wasn't good enough for him. As if he wanted to kiss me better than he could get. I felt the warmth of his body all around me. I could feel the desire for me in him. I knew he wanted exactly what I wanted. Ville pulled away and kept his face close to mine.

Ville: "I want you."

Me: "I want you, too. I don't think I can wait much longer."

    Ville kissed me quickly before picking me up and carrying me to the bed. He laid me down softly and crawled on top of me. He kissed my forehead before he undressed himself, undressing me afterwards. Ville kissed me passionately. I wasn't expecting it to happen so quick. While Ville was kissing me, I felt him. It was certainly better than Danny, that was for sure. I had missed this so much and I was finally glad to have Ville exactly where I wanted him. I sighed in the middle of the kiss and Ville pulled away to smile and laugh at me.

 Me: "What?"

Ville: "You're so silly."

    Ville began to kiss me again when he started moving. It felt wonderful at first until it started to become more intense. I pulled away from Ville and gasped. It was hurting so bad and it was pissing me off. Danny was too rough with me when he raped me and now it hurt extremely bad. I bit my lip but Ville kept moving. He must've thought the gasp was for something else. Once he started moving faster, I couldn't help it but to yell.

Me: "OW!"

    Ville stopped moving and looked me in the eyes.

Ville: "What did I do?"

Me: "It's not you..."

    I started crying because I was so frustrated with Danny. I wished he was there so I could punch him in the face.

Me: "...It's Danny...it's from when he raped me so many times."

Ville: "I'm sorry. I'll go easier then."

    Ville began to move easier but it still hurt like hell. I began to cry, burrying my head into Ville's shoulder.

Ville: "Does it still hurt?"

    I just shook my head. Ville stopped and pulled out. He laid next to me and kissed my cheek.

Me: "Why did you stop?"

Ville: "It's hurting you too much. I don't wanna hurt you."

    My voice cracked.

Me: "But you're not...it's Danny's fault, not yours. Please, I don't want you to stop."

Ville: "We'll try next time. Just take it easy. Calm yourself down and we'll just sleep for now."

Me: "But I don't wanna sleep. I want you."

Ville: "I want you, too but I don't want you to be hurt either."

Me: "I know but I'll live."

Ville: "I know you will. Just not tonight. We'll try again tomorrow."

Me: "Do you promise?"

Ville: "I promise."

    I began to cry again. I was so mad and there was nothing I could do to help myself. If Danny wasn't such a sick perv, I wouldn't have this problem. Ville kissed me like earlier, letting his tounge play around with mine. He pulled away and looked into my eyes. He smiled and touched his forehead to mine.

Ville: "I love you."

Me: "I love you, too."

    Ville wrapped his arms around me and let me fall asleep in his arms. I was so happy to finally be with him. To have everything I've always dreamed of. The only problem I had to face now was Danny.

    I woke up extremely early the next morning, making sure that Danny would still be asleep for a couple more hours. Danny had woken me up when he got home last night to tell me, thank God, that I was, quote "stupid for remembering everything except peanutbutter" and that I needed to go to the groceries again today.
    I took a long, relaxing shower and put on my make up, being a little creative with my eyeliner, making little swirls at the sides of my eyes on my temples. Danny had punched me in the eye last night and left me with the biggest black eye ever. I was glad it wasn't swelling but the bruise seemed like it was getting bigger but I'm thinking it was my imagination. I covered it all up with make up, hiding all of the dark color. I done it so well that you couldn't even tell it was there.
    After I was completely ready, I called Ville. It was still dark outside and pretty damn early but I didn't care if I woke him up. I really wanted hear his voice. Ville answered, sounding tired. I knew I had woken him up, I could just tell.

Ville: "Mmmmm, hello?"

Me: "Hey, did I wake you up?"

    I felt stupid for asking but I wanted him to know that I was concerned.

Ville: "Yeah..."

Me: "Oh, I'm sorry."

Ville: "It's okay. What do you need?"

Me: "I was just calling you to tell you that I'm free for today. I wanna go ice skating."

    Ville replied with a humorous tone, laughing on the inside, I could tell.

Ville: "Well, it's pretty damn early to be going ice skating, don't you think?"

Me: "Well, uh...I can wait. I'll let you sleep."

    Ville started joking around again. I could hear rustling in the background from him getting out of bed.

Ville: "Nope, it's too late now. I'm already up."

Me: "When will you be ready?"

Ville: "Just come over, I'll be getting ready while you're on your way up."

    Ville gave me the hotel number he was staying at and then got off the phone to take a shower. I melted at the thought of that. I wrote Danny a note, saying that I was going to be at the grocery store and that I was getting a lot of things so it would be quite awhile before I got back home. I knew that by the time I got home, it would be too late for Danny to like so he would hit me again...maybe more than once. I grabbed my keys and purse and creeped out the door.
    I stopped by the grocery store and got everything I needed as fast as I could before I took off to the hotel. I got in and walked up to Ville's room and knocked on the door. Ville opened the door, wearing the same beanie, gloves, scarf, and shoes as yesterday. He was wearing blue jeans that flared out at the bottom and a big black jacket that seemed to swollow him whole. He threw himself forward, almost like a leap, into hugging me. He hugged me like last night only he hugged me tighter and longer. This time, I wrapped my arms around him, too. He seemed pretty relaxed with long, easy breaths. He let go and smiled at me again.

Ville: "Where's your coat?"

Me: "Coat?"

    I looked down at myself to find myself only wearing a hot pink t-shirt that had an odd design with hearts and skulls on it.

Ville: "Yeah, it's the ice skating rink. They have to keep it cold in there to keep the ice from melting. You're gonna freeze your ass off in there."

Me: "Well don't I feel stupid. How was I supposed to know? I've never been ice skating."

Ville: "Come in and make yourself comfortable, I'll be right back."

    Ville led me to the couch where I sat down and he walked into a seperate room. Even though I had never been here before, being in the presence of Ville made me feel relaxed and at home. Ville came back carrying another black coat that looked almost exactly like the one he was wearing only it had some small details that were different.

Ville: "Here."

    He tossed the coat to me. He went into another room for another minute. I put the coat on and buttoned it up. It was so warm and it smelled exactly like him. It smelled of cigarettes and another sweet smell but I couldn't tell what it was. It just smelled like Ville and felt as if he was wrapping his whole body around me. The thought of that didn't actually sound so bad. Ville came back, holding his keys and a pack of cigarettes.

Ville: "Are you warm?"

Me: "Yup."

Ville: "Good. Do you wanna ride in the car with me or do you just wanna follow me in your car?"

    I wanted to ride in the car with Ville but I needed to take my car so I could think about everything and clear my mind again on the way there.

Me: "I think it would be best if I just followed you."

Ville: "Okay then. Let's go."

    We took off to the skating rink. I was breathing in the smell and taking in the warmth of Ville's coat the whole way there. I loved it so much and I never wanted to take it off.
    We got in and put on our skates before stepping into the rink. Ville stepped in first, turning around to see me. I could tell that hes done this before because he was standing in the skates like they were a normal pair of shoes. I held onto the railing while I stepped in. The railing didn't help very much. I slipped and fell right on my ass, letting out a scream as soon as I put both feet down. Ville laughed at me and held out his hand.

Ville: "You are the most helpless thing I've ever seen."

    I don't know why but when he said things like that to me, it made me blush and feel like a teenager all over again. I reached out and took his hand.

Me: "Thanks, that makes me feel so much better."

    Ville pulled me up and held onto my wasit.

Ville: "Just hold onto the rail and don't let go."

Me: "Okay."

    Ville held onto me a little bit longer, looking into my eyes. It felt like a kissing moment but I quickly looked away and grabbed onto the railing next to us. Ville let go of me, keeping his hands firmly on my waist. He turned around where he was stending nect to me.

Ville: "Just start moving, I promise I won't let you fall."

Me: "Okay."

    I started to push my feet a little. Once I got perfect balance, I started skating with ease, still holding onto the railing and Ville's hands still on my waist. We skated for a few hours and talked before Ville started talking about personal things.

Ville: "So how did you meet your husband?"

Me: "He has a name, you know."

Ville: "Sorry. So how did you meet Danny?"

Me: "Well a few months after you moved, I went out to a club with Anthie. Danny was just a brave guy and had the nerve to talk to me. We talked for awhile and danced a little. He gave me his number and I gave him mine. After a few dates, we started to have a real relationship. After a couple of years, he proposed. A week later, we got married in my backyard. Funny thing was that I was afraid he was gonna stand me up. He didn't show up until I was walking down the aisle. He told me he would explain later. Come to think of it, he never DID explain it."

Ville: "Huh...so where did he propose to you at?"

Me: "On the beach over the cliff, right in front of the park."

Ville: "That sounds nice. So have you guys ever, uh...you know... did what we did?"

Me: "Ville! That's a personal question."

Ville: "I know. But I'm curious."

    I sighed knowing that this could start a real conversation.

Me: "Yes, we have."

Ville: "Ah, I see. Where was your guys' first time at?"

Me: "Is this 20 questions or what?"

Ville: "No. Just curiosity."

Me: "The night of the fair at the park above the beach. In the back of Danny's car."

Ville: "That's crazy. Now this is odd, but you know how I'm straight forward. Was he better than me?"

Me: "Honestly, Ville, I don't remember."

Ville: "Well damn. This is even weirder, but is he bigger than me?"

    I was taken by shock and my jaw dropped. I looked at Ville who was grinning wildly.

Me: "WHOA! VILLE! PERSONAL QUESTION!"

Ville: "You can't blame me for being curious........so is he?"

Me: "Ville, you kill me."

Ville: "And I'll just keep bugging you until you tell me."

Me: "Fine..."

    I let out a big gust of air and frowned a little. I paused and then smiled and giggled a little.

Me: "...no, Ville, he's not as big as you."

    Ville let go of me and raised his hands.

Ville: "Yes!"

    Ville turned to face me and my balance began to get out of control. Ville really shouldn't have let me go because I fell again, letting out another scream. I began laughing with Ville.

Ville: "Oh, I'm so sorry."

    Ville rushed over to me and held out his hand again. I rubbed my hand underneath my eye but made sure I never messed up my eye make up. But afterwards, underneath my eye started throbbing with intense pain. SHIT! I forgot about my black eye! I looked at my hand and sure enough, there was make up the same color as my skin on my fingertips. I wiped my make up off! There was no getting out of this one. Ville would see and ask about it, I just knew it. I took a deep breath and put my hand in Ville's. He pulled me up and looked into my eyes again. His face washed over with curiosity again and I knew he was going to ask.

Ville: "What happened? Did I just do that?"

    I wasn't going to lie to Ville and make him feel guilty. I just came up with a different lie.

Me: "Oh, I burnt my eye this morning with a curling iron."

Ville: "Oh, I don't think so. It looks too serious to be a curling iron. Besides, your hair is too short to curl, not to mention the fact that your hair is completely straight today."

    GAH! I didn't think of that. I certainly didn't see that one coming. I couldn't think of anything else to tell him so I was speechless.

Ville: "Pilot, what happened?"

Me: "Um, I...I..."

Ville: "Tell me. You know I won't let you go until I know everything."

Me: "It doesn't matter."

Ville: "It does to me."

Me: "Just don't worry about it."

Ville: "Too bad 'cause I am. Now what happened?"

    I sighed and looked into his eyes. There was no way in hell I was going to tell him.

Ville: "Did you get in a cat fight or something."

Me: "No, of course not, that's stupid."

    Crap, why didn't I go with that?

Ville: "Well then wha..."

    Ville stopped speaking and his eyes got huge. Worry began to take him over.

Ville: "No.....he doesn't...he doesn't hit you, does he?"

Me: "Who?"

Ville: "Don't act stupid with me, Caitlin, does Danny hit you?"

    He called me by my real name. Ville had only called me by my real name when he was being more serious than serious ever could be.

Me: "Ville...there's nothing you can do about it..."

Ville: "So I take it he hits you?"

Me: "Yes...but like I said, you can't do anything about it..."

Ville: "The hell if I won't! I forbid you to go home tonight...you're coming home with me!"

Me: "You can't tell me what to do, Ville! I'm a grown woman, I can handle it myself. Now let me go!"

    I broke free of Ville's hold and took off out of the rink. I sat down and began to untie the skates. Ville sat down and pulled his skates off without struggle. He got his shoes on within a flash.

Ville: "You're not a real woman if you're not strong enough to leave his ass and get the hell out of town!"

    I put my shoes on and grabbed my things while walking out of the stadium.

Me: "I'm a strong woman for being able to take his hits."

    I got to my car and opened the driver side door before Ville grabbed me and spun me around to face him.

Ville: "What else has he done to you?"

    Ville grabbed my left arm and slid the sleeve up to my elbow to look at my arm. He tuned it around to examine it and see all of the cuts and bruises Danny gave me. His jaw dropped.

Me: "Let go of me!"

    I yanked my arm away and pulled the sleeve back down.

Ville: "You know what? You're just being a selfish little bitch to me if you stay with him and let him knock your head around."

    I knew he was right and my heart sank to the pit of my stomach but I couldn't control my rage enough to contain myself. I done what was probably the most stupid thing I could do. Learning Danny's bad behaviors wasn't a good thing. I reached my arm back before swinging it around to slap Ville across the face as hard as I could. I turned around and got in my car, speeding off as fast as I could. I didn't want to see Ville's face after what I had just done to him. I began to sob, fiercely. It was dark outside and going on 11:30 at night. I knew Danny had to be waiting on the couch for me. I knew I was going to get it big time for this.
    I pulled into the dark driveway of my house and turned the car off. I sighed and kept sobbing, tears streaming down my face like a waterfall. I then realized that I was still wearing Ville's coat. I quickly took it off and hid it under a seat of the car. Just then, my phone started ringing. I looked to see that it was Ville. I muttered to myself under my heavy sobs.

Me: "Damn it, Ville, quit calling me."

    I ignored the call and got out of the car, embracing the few moments I had left until I would get the shit beat out of me. I walked in, opening the door slowly to see Danny right where I expected him to be. I looked at him and shut the door, not bothering to wipe away the tears. It wouldn't do any good. Danny got up and walked over to me before hitting me upside the head.

Danny: "Where the hell were you?!?!"

Me: "I left you a note."

Danny: "I highly doubt it would take you all day to get groceries. And what's that smell?"

Me: "I..."

Danny: "It smells like nasty cigarettes. Where have you been?"

Me: "......out."

    Danny let out an angry sigh before he walked out the door. I followed after him.

Me: "Where are you going?"

    Danny didn't answer, he just kept walking. He reached my car and opened the door. He looked around in it for a few minutes before he came back out, holding Ville's coat. I gasped, knowing that I would most likely get the biggest beating of my life.

Danny: "This isn't your coat. WHO'S COAT IS THIS?!"

    I opened my mouth to respond when my phone started ringing. I knew Ville was worried but for right now, he was just making things worse. Danny looked at my hand which was holding the cell phone. He dropped the coat and stormed over to me, taking the phone out of my hand with great force. He looked at the I.D. and began to look even angrier.

Danny: "WHO THE HELL IS VILLE?!"

Me: "It's just a friend..."

Danny: "IS THAT HIS JACKET?!"

Me: "Yes, but..."

    Danny didn't let me finish. He threw the phone at me, it hitting my black eye. He grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me back into the house, slamming the door behind him. Danny grabbed me by the throat and lifted me up, slamming me against the wall, holding me there. He put his face in front of mine and pursed his lips before yelling again.

Danny: "YOU BETTER NOT BE CHEATING ON ME, YOU FILTHY WHORE!"

    I couldn't breathe to say anything back. Danny's hand gripped my throat and was choking me. I struggled with all of my force, trying to break free while everything was getting darker and I was beginning to lose conciousness. I heard my phone ring again and realized that Danny had picked it up before taking me into the house. He let go of me, letting me fall to the floor. I took in a deep breath of air and started coughing, violently. My conciousness was coming back to me when I heard Danny answer the phone.

Danny: "LISTEN HERE, YOU MO..."

    I built up enough strength to scream at the top of my lungs.

Me: "NO!!!!!"

I raised my hand and knocked the phone out of Danny's hand, knicking his face with my fingernails at the same time. The phone closed on the way down to the floor, hanging up on Ville. I looked at Danny's face which had a little bit of blood on it from where I had accidentally scratched him.

Danny: "You bitch!"

    Danny hit me across the head as hard as he could, knocking me out into complete unconciousness, surrounding me in darkness.

 

    Waking up at 3:30 in the morning in a pitch black room with no clothes on, freezing to death because the husband who supposedly loves you so much, raped you the night before and took all of the blankets in the middle of the night was normal for a girl like me. I'm so cold but if I try to take some of the covers off of Danny, he would get mad. I can't go back to sleep now that I'm wide awake. I wanted to get up, put my clothes on, and pace the living room floor to relieve some of the stress. The only way Danny would let me leave the room is if I said I was going to use the restroom. I was surprised he would even let me get up to do even that.
    I lightly pulled Danny's heavy arm off of me and got out of the bed slowly. I quietly creeped towards the door when I heard Danny jerk up.

Danny: "Where are you going?"

Me: "Restroom."

Danny: "Oh...okay."

    I gave Danny a couple of minutes to let him go back to snoring before I snuck some clothes out of the drawr. I didn't care if I was hit for this tomorrow, I was used to it. What could one extra hit do? I headed off to the bathroom where I put on my old, favorite pajamas. I walked into the living room and paced the floor, just like I wanted. I stopped and stared at the phone. Why don't I just pick up the phone and call Ville? I have his old cell phone number. I knew it by heart. But he's famous...he wouldn't answer. He most likely would've gotten a new cell phone or a new number after all of these years. But what could it hurt? It's worth a shot.
    I picked up the phone and dialed Ville's old cell phone number, fingers trembling. I put the reciever against my warm, pink cheek. Not pink from the nerves, pink from the times Danny hit me. They would soon start to change colors. My nerves began to jump all out of place. I pressed the "End" button right when I heard a female recorded voice go off. It was obviously turned off or he got a new number or it would've rang. I sighed and put the phone back on the hook. I better get back to bed before Danny noticed.
    The next morning when I woke up and done my daily morning routine, Danny hit me for what happened last night, of course. Nothing new. Today is Saturday so more cuts and bruises to expect. I was cleaning the kitchen when Danny walked in, looking anxious. He wanted to see Sandra, the other woman he was seeing, I suspected.

Danny: "You need to go to the grocery store."

Me: "Okay."

    I stopped in my tracks, grabbed my purse and keys, and started to head out the door when I called to Danny.

Me: "Have fun with Sandra."

Danny: "Don't worry, I will."

    I took off to the market where I bought everything Danny would want plus a couple of things for myself. He didn't have to know. When I bought everything, I stuffed all of it in the trunk of my car. I didn't want to go home just yet so I decided to take a small walk down the sidewalk. Danny wouldn't ever suspect anything, he would be too busy screwing around with Sandra. I walked up to the end of the block and crossed the street. I made my way to the end of the next block. I looked to the right at an abandoned brick building. There was a tall, lanky figure smoking a cigarette leaning against the wall. It was common to see people here. This was one of the main hangouts. I got closer and closer to the figure and he seemed to look pretty familiar but I didn't feel like keeping my head up to look anymore. The back of my neck was starting to hurt...from Danny, of course. I put my head down and watched my feet as I walked to the end of the sidewalk. I stopped and kept looking down, waiting for the "Walk" light to go off.

"Pilot?"

    The familiar voice startled me and made my heart jump. I jerked my head up which was a bad idea since my neck hurt so bad. I yelped loudly.

Me: "OW!"

    I turned around in one quick movement to see the only thing that could ever make my heart stop yet race to an intense beat at the same time. Right before me stood the most beautiful thing ever. He stood before me, the same adorable face with the solid jade green eyes that I knew and loved looking right into mine. He was wearing a black beanie with his brunette curls poking out the sides in every direction, a black t-shirt with a long-sleeved shirt underneath it that said "Evil Dead" on the sleeves, baggy black pants, black high top shoes, a tattered green scarf, and black fingerless gloves. Inbetween his fingers in his right hand was the half-smoked cigarette. He smiled at me and seemed to be pleased to find me here.

Me: "Ville?"

Ville: "Pilot! I haven't seen you in years. You look just as beautiful as you were when I last seen you..."

    He raised his free hand to stroke my burning red cheeks. It stung so bad to have him touch my face but I loved it at the same time.

Me: *whispers* "Ow..."

Ville: "...and just as clumsy."

    That Finnish accent was the one thing I was waiting all these years for. The longer he stood in front of me, the more it started sinking in that I was in the presence of my one true love again. Joy started to overflow me, my legs getting weak. My heart was racing faster and faster every second. A tear escaped my eye but I was quick to wipe it away before he saw. I was speechless and probably looking like a total idiot right at this moment. I was hoping that he would break the silence but I knew Ville better than I knew myself so that meant that I had to be the one to say something next.

Me: "Some things never change, do they?"

Ville: "Nope. I'm still the same good ol' Ville."

Me: "Well I would hope...except that you're famous now."

Ville: "Yeah, about that...You wanna go grab a coffee? I wanna catch up on some things. I'll tell you everything, you tell me everything."

    I thought about it for a minute, wondering what the outcome of this would be. Danny would most likely spend all day with Sandra and not get home until about 9:30 this evening. As long as I was home with the groceries before Danny got back, I would be okay. Besides, I had my cell phone that Danny gave me so he could check in on me and make sure I wasn't doing anything "wrong". I could just pretend I was still in the store whenever he called.

Me: "Sure...I'd love to."

    Ville took me to Starbucks where he bought my coffee and his. It was the nicest gesture anyone had done for me in these past six months. We sat down and started sipping at our coffees and talking.

Me: "You start."

Ville: "Um...okay. Well, after I moved back to Finland, I was really starting to get into my music. I mean, I was already in it before, I just started to get into it even more. I had been in a couple of bands but they didn't work. So I was in the middle of looking for a band when the guys happened to show up on my front door one day. We started hanging out and playing music together everyday and formed a band. We eventually got our way around to getting our very first record label and we made a couple of videos and 'boom'...TV and radio all the time. Other than trying to keep up with my music, my life has been pretty calm. Now what's up with you?"

Me: "Well...um. After you left, I met a guy. His name is Daniel Radcliffe but I just call him Danny. We were together for a couple of years before he asked me to marry him...and I said 'Yes'. We've been married for 2 and a half years now. He has a job but I decided that being at home and doing housework was more my thing."

    I just lied to Ville. How could I do that? This is so stupid. I really wanted to tell him everything and cry into his shoulder while he held me but I knew that would be too much to ask. I was just hoping he wouldn't ask about the odd markings on my arms and cheeks.

Ville: "So how has being married been for you?"

Me: "Oh, it's great. I'm just glad that I got my life settled out so early. I mean me being at the age of 24, that's gotta be good, right?"

Ville: "Well I would hope so."

Me: "What about you? Are you married?"

Ville: "Pfft, no. I'm single for now. I mainly wanna focus on music for right now."

    I couldn't help but to smile at hearing the good news of him being single. The only bad thing was that I wasn't. But yet again, Danny is cheating on me, so what the hell?

Me: "Well if that's what you really want, then I'm all for it. I'm really proud of you."

Ville: "Thanks. So how did you find out that I'm famous?"

Me: "I actually found out yesterday. I seen you on TV and was in complete shock."

Ville: "Hmph. Well I'm glad you found out one way or another."

Me: "Yeah. So what are you doing here anyways?"

Ville: "Oh, our 2nd tour just got over a couple of weeks ago so I figured that while I had the spare time, I would come back here and visit my favorite place in the whole world."

Me: "That's nice. I never go anywhere."

Ville: "I should take you somewhere with me sometime then. I mean if it would be okay with your husband."

Me: "I should try to talk to him."

Ville: "Great. Anyways, I'm glad I ran into you. I was thinking about stopping by to see you today anyways but I didn't know if you lived at the same place or not."

Me: "Me and Danny have our own place."

Ville: "Do you guys have any kids?"

Me: "No. We wanted to spend a few years just us two before we tried to have kids."

    Ville seemed to be relieved by my response.

Ville: "Ah, I see. So why were you out today?"

Me: "Oh, I was getting some groceries."

Ville: "Did your husband come with you?"

Me: "No. He's at home."

    Another lie.

Ville: "So do you need to be home at any specific time?"

Me: "Well I would say before 9:00 maybe."

Ville: "Well do you wanna go do something for the next few hours?"

Me: "Like what?"

Ville: "I was thinking maybe we could go to the aquarium. They have something going on where you can get in for free or something like that."

Me: "Okay. Let's go."

    Ville took me in his new, fancy car to the aquarium. We started off by looking at the jellyfish.

Me: "These things are so freaky looking, aren't they?"

Ville: "Yeah, I know. They're all pink and slimey looking. I don't see how people can touch these nasty ass things and put them in their cages. Sick."

    I giggled like a ditsy little school girl which was a first in a long time. Ville still had the fun sense of humor that I loved so much. Anything he said would make me blush.

Me: "Yeah, same thing with the blowfish. Their spikes look really creepy and painful."

    Ville let out a loud laugh.

Ville: "HA! Blowfish. Shitty ass name for a thing that swims in the water. It doesn't even 'blow'...anything."

Me: "Oh, ha ha, Ville, you're hilarious."

    I smiled so much, my face was hurting more than it usually did.

Ville: "I AM, though, right?"

Me: "But of course."

Ville: "Hey, let's go take a look at Nemo and Dory."

Me: "And exactly where in the world do you think we're gonna find fish like Nemo and Dory?"

Ville: "Right over there."

    Ville pointed over to a tank accross the room that was filled with fish that looked exactly like Nemo and Dory. Ville grabbed me by the arm and took me over to the tank. It hurt some when Ville grabbed my arm but I didn't want to say anything. I didn't want to worry him. We looked at the fish and done quotes from Finding Nemo.
    We spent the whole day looking at all of the funny and cool looking fish. Ville and I named a couple of them. We named an eal Fez in honor of an old memory and we named a blowfish Spikey. We got to pet some baby sharks and I even got to hear Ville sing some funny song that he made up off the top of his head about one of the Sharks he named Freddy. Now if I could rmemeber it right, I believed it went somewhat like this: A shark in the water, all gray and scary, No, his name's not Walter, but he does eat those fishies, he swims day and night, a happy little fin, those sharp teeth sure are a fright, make sure he doesn't bite your skin, 'cause his name isn't Eddy, it's frickin' Freddy...
    After we left the aquarium, it was starting to get a little dark outside. We took Ville's car back to where it was when we left to go to the aquarium. We started walking on the dark sidewalk, the street lamps being the only light to guide our way.

Ville: "Do you want some ice cream?"

Me: "Sure."

    We stopped in front of a little ice cream shop where Ville got me a strawberry ice cream and he got himself a vanilla ice cream. We finished eating our ice creams while we walked the rest of the way to my car. It was going on 8:30 and it would take about 15 minutes to get to my house. By the time I got home, I would have enough time to put the groceries away and go to sleep before he got home. He never woke me up to hit me, which was an upside. I walked over to the driver side of my car.

Me: "I better get going."

Ville: "Yeah, you don't wanna worry your husband."

Me: "True."

Ville: "Hey, do you think we could do sometime tomorrow?"

Me: "Oh, I don't know, I..."

    Ville cut in, seeming quite eager.

Ville: "I was wanting to take you ice skating."

    I hadn't ever been ice skating before and it sounded like a lot of fun. I just didn't know if Danny would make me go to the groceries or not. If he wanted me to get something extra, he would always make me go again the next day. Plus he would make me buy double of everything I had just bought the day before for "doing a bad job" at getting groceries. I just prayed to God that he wanted something extra.

Me: "Um...I don't know. It sounds like fun and I really wanna go. I just don't know if my husband would want me to stay home or not."

Ville: "Well then here."

    Ville took my phone out of my pocket and put his number in it.

Ville: "Call me tomorrow and let me know what's going on."

    I was glad Danny never chacked my phone. He was convinced that I would be too scared to have any other number in there besides his.

Me: "I'll do that."

Ville: "Good..."

    Ville walked closer to me, pushing his warm body against mine, pushing my back against the car.

Ville: "...I really missed you."

Me: "I missed you, too."

    In that instant, Ville threw his arms around my waist and laid his head on my shoulder. He squeezed me tight, giving me a lingering hug. He sighed and then let go.

Ville: "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

Me: "Okay."

Ville: "Bye."

Me: "Bye."

    Ville waved at me while walking away. I waved back and got into my car. I shut the door, buckled myself in, and started the car. I sighed and laid my head on the steering wheel. I couldn't believe today actually happened. It all seemed so surreal. But I was living and breathing it so I knew it was real. I had really spent all day with Ville and I had his number in my phone. I could see him again whenever Danny would send me out to get groceries. I couldn't help it but smile and rush home just so I could get home, fall asleep, and get tomorrow started so I could see or speak to Ville again.

    Danny and I have been married for 2 years now. Brittany and Jake are now married, Summer and Bam are engaged, Jessie and Taylor are still one happy little married couple, Ell Bee and Hesekiel still talk every night, Anthie and Jussi were engaged too, Pete was single again, Gerard was still with the same girl, and we still haven't heard anything from anybody else. Mine and Danny's marriage has been going good but it seems like lately, I just can't seem to make Danny happy. Everything I do seems to upset him and make him really angry with me. His temper gets worse and worse everyday. Something inside me tells me that something might go wrong. I'm afraid he'll lose control and all hell will break loose. I'm afraid to say something to him about it though because I'm afraid that he might get mad and throw a fit. I'll just have to keep praying and hoping for the best.
    Sitting on this couch, watching TV and waiting for Danny to get home from work was making me anxious. Supper was waiting on the table for him. I was starving all day so I went ahead and ate. I always wait until he gets home so I can eat with him and talk about how work was but I worked so hard on cleaning the house that I didn't take a break to eat so I ate when I was done cleaning.
    Danny walked in the door and kissed me on the forehead before putting his things away in our bedroom. He walked into the kitchen before walking back into the living room with a confused look on his face.

Danny: "Where's your plate?"

Me: "Oh, I already ate."

Danny: "Why?"

Me: "I hadn't eaten anything all day 'cause I was cleaning and I was starving so I went ahead and ate."

Danny: "But we always eat together..."

Me: "I know, Sarge, but I just couldn't wait, I was so hungry I was about to get sick."

Danny: "You could've waited another 20 minutes, you know."

Me: "Yeah, I could've, but I didn't want to."

    I stood up and walked up to him, grabbing his arm and kissing him softly on the lips.

Me: "You should eat before your food gets cold."

Danny: "Why didn't you just wait?"

Me: "Danny, it won't kill you to eat supper without me tonight..."

    Danny interrupted me without hesitation.

Danny: "What if it did? You wouldn't care, WOULD you?"

Me: "Danny, you're taking this all out of proportion."

Danny: "No, you've NEVER cared! EVER!"

Me: "Danny, of course I care, I married you, didn't I? This is stupid, it's over food, for crying out loud!"

Danny: "I don't care, you KNEW better!"

Me: "Knew better than what? Knew better than to eat without you? You can't tell me what to do!"

Danny: "Yes, I'm afraid I can..."

Me: "HA! Yeah right! In your wildest dreams!"

Danny: "I CAN TELL YOU TO DO WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT YOU TO DO!"

Me: "WELL SCREW YOU, 'CAUSE I'M NOT DEALING WITH THIS SHIT!"

    Just then, what I expected happened just then. I seen a flash of movement and the next thing I knew, I felt a sharp pain accross my face, my head twisted to the left, and everything began to get dizzy. I snapped out of it quickly and looked at Danny with my jaw dropped. Danny seemed to be upset with himself but the only thing he could do was storm out of the house and take off in his Mustang. I began to cry softly as I watched him drive away. I was so eager to call one of my friends and tell them what just happened but I thought it better to leave things unsaid. It was just a one time thing. It won't happen again...right? I sighed and choked back the rest of my tears. I needed to be a strong woman.
    Danny came back a couple of hours later. He sat down next to me and took my hands in his, his eyes staring deep into mine.

Danny: "I'm so sorry, I wasn't thinking. You didn't deserve that. I'm sorry I overreacted."

    I didn't say anything. I just kissed him fiercely, hoping that this would erase what had happened. Danny carried me off into the bedroom where we made love for a half hour or so. The next morning was saturday, so it should be good to go out and do something with Danny.
    The next morning, I got ready like I did everyday since we've been married. Danny got up and I mentioned something to him about going on a walk to the park. Danny got ready, we ate breakfast, and headed off to the park.
    We walked through the trees, holding hands. Danny seemed to be uneasy.

Me: "What's wrong?"

Danny: "I feel like I'm gonna be sick."

Me: "You can go to the bathroom. I'll wait right here for you."

Danny: "Okay."

    Danny took off to the restroom while I waited on the trail in the woods. I heard footsteps walking towards me and I turned to see a slender guy with jet black hair.

Me: "GERARD!"

Gerard: "Hey!"

    Gerard gave me a quick, swift hug. I smiled at him. I hadn't seen him in such a long time.

Me: "So what have you been up to lately?"

Gerard: "Oh, not much. Been hangin' out with my gal."

Me: "Oh. Are you guys doin' okay?"

Gerard: "Perfect. I haven't seen you and Danny in a couple of months. How have you guys been?"

Me: "We've been doin' really good."

    Gerard looked confused for a moment and then squinted his eyes, looking at the right side of my face.

Gerard: "That's not what your face says. What's with the big red mark on your cheek?"

Me: "What?"

    I reached up and touched my face, a burning sensation overwhelmed my whole head whenever I touched it. I was quick to make up a lie, though.

Me: "Oh, I tripped and fell in the garage and fell right on my face."

Gerard.: "Sounds like you."

Me: "I know, exactly."

Gerard: "Well I've gotta go, my girlfriend keeps texting me. She wants me to stop by. I'll call you sometime."

Me: "Okay, see you soon."

    Gerard hugged me tight and gave me a small peck on the cheek before leaving. I turned to see Danny with a frustrated look on his face. Danny stormed up to me and grabbed my arm, pulling me out of the woods.

Danny: "Come on, let's go..."

    Danny drug me to the car, and took off flying towards home.

Me: "Danny, can't you slow down a bit?!"

Danny: "Just SHUT UP and let me CONCENTRATE!"

    Oh great...here we go again.
    When we got home, Danny pulled me into the house and slapped me accross the face, knocking me down on my knees, feeling dizzy again.

Danny: "WOULD YOU LIKE TO EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT THAT WAS BACK THERE?!"

Me: "I don't know what you're talking about!"

Danny: "YOU KNOW JUST AS WELL AS I DO WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! WHAT WAS WITH YOU AND GERARD?! DON'T THINK I DIDN'T SEE THAT!"

Me: "Danny, he's a family friend. He has a girlfriend too, he didn't mean anything by it."

Danny: "I'D LIKE FOR HIM TO TELL ME THAT!"

    Danny stormed off into the bedroom, slamming the door behind him. I didn't understand why Danny was changing so much. I just tried to ignore it. It would stop eventually, I just knew it.

    But HELL, was I wrong. It's been six months and Danny has been hitting me ever since. I have bruises and cuts all over my face and arms. Not to mention, he started something new. Whenever I wouldn't give him sex, he would force it on me. He hit me everyday and raped me every night. I can't deny the fact that I still love him...but I just wanted out of this house more than anything. I'm sitting on this couch, dreading when Danny gets home from work. I know that I'll be in for it again tonight. Now I don't even have to get in an argument with him. He'll just hit me for the fun of it.
    I walked out of the living room into the bedroom, my arms and face throbbing with pain. I laid down on the bed and turned on the TV. I turned it to Fuse. This was the only time of the day that I could watch TV and Danny would never know. At this moment, I was wishing for nothing more than to be with Ville again. To feel his touch, taste his lips, feel him surrounding me, his loving arms embracing me, not letting me leave. I closed my eyes and a tear trickled down my cheek. I opened my eyes back up to see what would change my world completely. Right before my eyes, on the television screen, I seen something that I would never picture except for in my wildest dreams. It was so breathtaking and so shocking for my own little, weak heart to handle at one time. I jumped up and gasped, reaching for the remote and turning the volume up as far as I could.
    Seeing him there, singing into a microphone was the most beautiful sight I've ever seen in as long as I can remember. Ville looked more amazing than before. And what shocked me most was that Mige, Linde, Gas, and Burton were all in the band with him. That was it...his band's name was HIM. I couldn't believe it. Hearing his voice was amazing. I was surprised that Hesekiel had never said anything to Ell Bee about it. But then again, I hadn't seen any of my friends these past six months. Danny wouldn't let me step one foot out of the house except to go get groceries. Even then, I never ran into them, not once. Anyways...Ville had the most beautiful voice and the most beautiful face I had ever laid my eyes on. The desire for him was getting stronger and stronger by the second. Excitement and joy was filling me up more and more by the second...but then it all hit me at once. He's famous. I'll never see him again. How in the world would I see him if he's famous? He's got his own life now and he wouldn't want anything to do with me. The only way I'd be able to see him was on the TV. It wasn't enough for me but I would have to deal with it. At least I would know from now on wether Ville was doing okay or not. I just had to make sure Danny never knew I had known Ville and the rest of the band at one time in my life. I was glad that out of all the things Danny forced out of me by knocking my brains out, he didn't ask about the most important person in my life...or WAS in my life. Now that Ville was heard and seen by everyone all over the world, I was sure he would have no trouble finding the girl of his dreams...and I was 100% sure that girl wasn't me.

it's a wonderful day 2day...2day is a day that should be celebrated by everyone all over the world...33 years ago 2day at 8:28 A.M., the most beautiful man 2 walk this Earth was born...he writes the most beautiful songs, has the most beautiful voice, and the most beautiful personality ever...n he goes by the name of Ville Valo...lol...I love u, Ville! Happy Birthday!

    Standing on the little step with my arms and legs spread out, wearing a white wedding dress, and having someone taking my measurements while my friends were surrounding me and watching with fascination was quite odd.

Me: "Jessie, I know how you felt now."

Jessie: "It was worth it, though. Taylor is the biggest sweetheart ever."

Me: "I can imagine. Hey, where's Anthie?"

Brittany: "She's off with that Jussi guy."

Me: "Again? She's only known him for 4 days and she's spent every second of those days with him."

Ell Bee: "Is that a problem?"

Me: "No, not really. I just kinda wished she was here with us, helping me find a dress."

Summer: "Well, we're here!"

Me: "Thanks Summer. It just feels empty with Anthie missing."

    I tuned to the right while the salesperson was taking the measure of my waist. I heard "She Wolf" go off on Jessie's phone.

Jessie: "A text from Taylor."

Ell Bee: "What did he say?"

Jessie: "'Hey, we're on our way. Be there in 5 minutes.'"

Me: "Who?"

Jessie: "Hold on."

    Jessie began typing her little fingers away. "She Wolf" played again in about 5 seconds afterwards.

Jessie: "Taylor said 'Me, Bam, Jake, and Danny...so if Pilot is wearing the dress she's gonna wear to the wedding, she may need to rush.'"

Me: "SHIT!"

    Just then, Anthie came running in, panting, with Jussi's hand connected with hers.

Anthie: "Pilot, I just seen Danny and the guys on the other side of the mall. RUN!"

    I jumped off the step and ran to the changing room. I heard the salesperson yell out something but I couldn't make out what she said and I didn't really care. Once I got in the dressing room door, I changed into my jeans and t-shirt, putting my beautiful wedding dress in its bag, zipping the zipper, sealing it in tight. I walked out, hearing all of the guys' voices mixing in with the girls'. I purchased the dress before walking over to my huge group of friends. They were all in a hurdle, talking to each other, when Danny spotted me, smiling. He walked up to me, pulled me close to him, and kissed me passionately. He pulled away, grinning. I smiled back, hugging him. He took my hand and we walked over to our friends. Everyone was jibbering away while Anthie and Jussi couldn't keep their hands off each other.
    We all went out for pizzas. I came back home with Summer. Summer and Bam spent the whole night making out on the couch. I slept in Summer's bed, dreaming of Danny. Our wedding would be in 3 days. I was so nervous but I was so happy.

3 DAYS LATER

    I was in the middle of putting on my wedding gown when Jessie ran in with Taylor right behind her.

Me: "Hello?! Getting dressed here!"

    Jessie slapped her hand over Taylor's eyes. He smiled, finding it amusing.

Taylor: "Ouch..."

    Jessie glanced at Taylor before looking back at me.

Jessie: "Sorry, but this is urgent!"

Me: "What is it?"

Jessie: "We can't find Danny."

Me: "What?!"

Jessie: "We've been calling him and everything but we can't get ahold of him."

Me: "Oh no..."

    I looked up at the sky, clasping my hands together.

Me: "...God, please don't let him have cold feet..."

Jessie: "Well, I've gotta get in my bride's maid's dress so I'll see you when you walk down the aisle."

Me: "Okay, thanks."

    Jessie and Taylor left the room, leaving me feeling as nervous as can be. My heart was racing uncontrollably. I needed to hope that everything was going to be okay so I could get myself together and finish getting myself ready.
    Once I was ready, I stepped out into my backyard, walking down the long, white carpet to the altar. Everyone was watching me, and the only noise you could hear was the piano playing beautiful music and the flow of the waterfall behind the tables and chairs where we're supposed to have the reception at. Everything seemed to be in order and going according to plan...except for one thing. Danny wasn't there still. Every step closer I got to the altar, the faster my heart raced. I hoped to God that I wasn't getting stood up at my big day. I tried to breathe easy but the closer I got, the more it sat in that Danny wasn't there.
    The next thing that happened sent my heart into relief. I looked down, and then looked up to see Danny at the altar, smiling away. I smiled back at him, sighing in relief. I reached the altar and my dad kissed me on the cheek before sitting down to watch the wedding. I faced Danny and grinned. He bent over and whispered in my ear.

Danny: *whispering* "Sorry I'm late. I'll explain later."

Me: *whispering* "Okay."

    After the preacher said everything he needed to say, Danny and I said our vows, said our I Do's, and kissed, we went to the wedding reception where we had our first dance as a bride and groom. We danced to "Forever and For Always" by Shania Twain. I was so happy to finally find my home away from home. Danny was the love of my life and I was glad that I was meant to be with him forever.

Me: "Danny, I can't believe we're married."

Danny: "I can't believe it either."

    I was so eager to get my life completely started with him, I wasn't thinking right when I spoke again.

Me: "So when do you wanna have kids?"

Danny: "Whoa...slow down. Let's spend a couple more years just us two and then we can start talkin' babies."

Me: "Okay. Sounds like a deal. But let's not end the baby talk just yet. What do you want?"

Danny: "I was hoping we could have the traditional one boy and one girl. We could have a third one though if that pleases you."

Me: "I'd love that. But it's up to God what we get. I'll be happy with whatever his decision is."

Danny: "So will I."

    I gave Danny a soft kiss before smiling at him. I couldn't believe that I was finally with who meant most to me. I couldn't believe that Danny belonged to me and no one else. No one could ever take him from me. I would be with him until the day I die and we would have kids. We would watch them grow up and have kids of their own. We would die an old couple in love. I just had to wait and see what God had in store for us.
    When the wedding was over, Danny moved into our new house. We ate some chocolates, talked, and kissed for about an hour.

Me: "Well I'm tired of sitting in this wedding dress. It's starting to get a little itchy."

Danny: "That sounds like a problem."

Me: "Believe me, it is."

    Danny smiled and giggled while watching me trying to scratch my back.

Danny: "You need help with that?"

Me: "Please?"

Danny: "Sure."

    I turned my back to Danny where he unzipped the back of my dress and started to scrath my back.

Me: "Oh, that is such a relief. This dress is so gorgous but it's so uncomfortable."

    Danny leaned forward and buried his head inbetween my shoulder and my jawline. He started to kiss my neck while he whispered to me.

Danny: "You want me to solve that problem for you?"

Me: "That depends...are you trying to seduce me?"

Danny: "Is it working?"

Me: "Maybe..."

    I turned around to kiss Danny. We got up ran to our new bedroom and undressed. Making love seemed to be better this time than it was the other times we did before simply because we were married now.
    I woke up the next morning to see Danny, sound asleep with the bright, yellow sun shining through the windows on his perfect features.  I put my hand on his cheek and began to stroke his face with my thumb. I gave him a soft kiss on his lips before getting up to take a shower and do what I call "pretty myself up". I started to fix breakfast when it was hitting me harder than before. Every morning could be like this. Danny and I could make love every night before going to bed and I could wake up before him on a bright, sunny day and make breakfast for the two of us. We could go on walks whenever we came back home from work, and then we could go somewhere and do something fun, and after that, come back and watch a movie, and do everything all over again. That thought sent chills up my spine and put a huge smile on my face. My life was almost complete and I was happy with that.

    Danny drove me home so I could spread the news to all of my friends. I ran into Anthie's house and jumped in her arms, screaming.

Me: "ANTHIE, ANTHIE!"

Anthie: "Gah, what are you doing? Get off, you're killing me here."

    I let go of her and smiled hugely.

Me: "Sorry, I'm just so excited!"

Anthie: "What is it?"

Me: "Danny asked me to marry him!"

Anthie: "Aww, I'm so proud of you!"

    She gave me a big hug and I could feel her smiling on my shoulder. I couldn't believe this was all happening so fast. I pulled away to smile at her again.

Me: "He wants to get married next week..."

Anthie: "Whoa...what's the rush?"

Me: "Love, I guess."

Anthie: "Oh...well, okay. We should have a bachelorette party!"

Me: "When?"

Anthie: "Well we could tonight. It's not too late, and all of the clubs are open."

Me: "That's true..."

Anthie: "Well then let's call everyone and go."

Me: "Okay!"

    Anthie and I called everyone as fast as we could and told them the good news. Everyone was over within 20 minutes total. We all got into Brittany's huge van and went to the biggest club in town. We ran to the dance floor and began to dance with each other to every song that came on. Anthie had found a guy that seemed to be quite amused by her. He was kind of built, wearing all black, had on thick eyeliner and black hair that was spiked in the back with his bangs hanging down in his face. He wore a lot of chains and spikes. Anthie was having a lot of fun dancing with him and he seemed to be enjoying himself as well...probably a little too much. Jessie, Brittany, Ell Bee, Summer, and I were all dancing to Earthquake by Family Force 5. When we were all done dancing to that song we sat down in a booth to take a breather. Anthie approached us, holding the guy's hand that she had met earlier on.

Anthie: "Girls, this is Jussi. He's from Finland."

    My heart dropped in that instant. Finland. I had too much to remember that had to do with that one place. I was hoping he didn't know Ville. I was getting married next week and that was the last thing I needed.

Me: "Hi, Jussi. It's nice to meet you."

Jussi: "You too."

    His Finnish accent was a little stronger than what Ville's was. Anthie turned to Jussi and smiled.

Anthie: "I have to go to the restroom, I'll be back in a couple of minutes."

Jussi: "Okay."

    Anthie walked off in the direction of the bathroom, Jessie and Summer following after her. Brittany and I sat in one side of the booth while Ell Bee sat in the other. I looked up at Jussi and my curiosity was burning, wondering what this guy's intentions were.

Me: "Hey, Jussi, take a seat next to me."

    Brittany and I scooted over, leaving room for him to sit. I patted the seat, waiting. Jussi sat down without hesitation. I put my arm around his shoulders as if he were an old buddy of mine. I looked at him and I knew I was making him feel uncomfortable.

Me: "So...what do you think of Anthie?"

Jussi: "She's really pretty."

Me: "Yes, that she is...so tell me, do you have a girlfriend?"

Jussi: "No..."

Me: "Good, good. So what are your intentions for tonight?"

Jussi: "I don't know yet."

Me: "Well you better not be lying to me. You better not take advantage of my friend if you take her home tonight. If anything, you better be planning to have a relationship with her before you take things too far. I know she's a big girl but I'm not taking any chances. Treat her with respect...'cause if you don't...I just might have to hunt you down and you know the rest..."

    His mouth opened a little and brows furrowed, obviously a face of shock. I just smiled and patted him on the back.

Me: "Well.....have a wonderful night!"

Jussi: "Uh...yeah."

    Anthie, Jessie, and Summer came back giggling. Anthie grabbed Jussi's hand and took him back to the dance floor.

Brittany: "So how are you gonna get everything figured out for your wedding in a week?"

Me: "Well I wasn't planning on having that big of a wedding. I just wanted to get married in my backyard and just have friends and family come to my wedding. Oh, and I want you and everyone else to help me find the perfect dress."

Brittany: "Okay. Are you gonna say the traditional vows or are you gonna make your own?"

Me: "Haven't decided yet."

    Us girls went back onto the dance floor and started dancing again. The song that was playing at that time was Lolli Lolli by Three 6 Mafia. We danced until our muscles were soar. We decided to leave and go back to Anthie's place. Anthie brought Jussi home with her and when we got home, she took him to her room. Oh great. Better turn up the TV. All of us girls got dressed in our pajamas, popped popcorn, got Dr. Pepper's, and put in The Lake House. When the movie was half over, we began to throw our popcorn at each other and eventually had popcorn all over the floor and couches. What a big mess to clean up. After we cleaned it up, we fell asleep in whatever place in the room we were at, the movie still playing the main menu over and over again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sorry it's so short. I'm jus rly tired tonight. But I'll try 2 write the next chapter 2 my story whenever I can n I'll make it longer than this one...n oh, btw, when I mentioned those songs, I put those down cuz those were the ones I jus happened 2 be listening 2 when I wrote that sentence...lol

Jessie: "O yeah...really?......That's great!............Oooooooo, say that again........WOOHOO! right.........okay.............I'll see you later...............alright, bye Taylor."

    I let out a gruffy burst of air through my lips and opened my eyes. Jessie was just about to walk past the couch when I heard her put the phone on it's hook. I looked up at her and smiled.

Me: "Taylor is coming over?"

Jessie: "Why yes, he is..."

    She slapped me upside the head and laughed.

Jessie: "...so wake up. Your nap is over."

Me: "Yaaaay, I get to meet him."

Jessie: "Yup."

    It then clicked in my head what Jessie should do. I knew how guys are and they're not too keen on making first moves (unless it's Ville, of course). Jessie was a patient girl but with Taylor, I knew she wouldn't wait this time.

Me: "You should kiss him."

Jessie: "What?1 Are you crazy?! It's our first date!"

Me: "You've kissed him before."

Jessie: "So...I think I should wait."

Me: "Okay, whatever. keep telling youself that. You'll change your mind when he gets over here. Anyways, I have to go to Wal-Mart so I'll see you in a little while when I come back."

Jessie: "I want you to be here when Taylor gets here though."

Me: "You're a big girl, you can handle it by yourself. I'll be around to meet him soon."

Jessie: "Well I knew that. I just wanted you to be here when he walks in the door."

Me: "Sorry...but I WILL see him today."

Jessie: *sigh* "Okay...make it quick."

Me: "Will do."

    I gave Jessie a hug before grabbing my car keys out of my purse. Danny drove me everywhere these days it seemed like, but boy, wasn't I glad I left my car here at Jessie's the last time I stayed. I got in the car and everything seemed to be exactly where I left it. I took off to Wal-Mart, still thinking about what happened earlier that day. I'm so stupid. I walked in and grabbed a couple of pencil eyeliners and some blush. I walked out of the aisle to see my own personal Squeekers.

Me: "Hey, Summer, how are you?"

Summer: "I'm good. I'm just waiting on Bam to get his shit."

Me: "Shit as in..."

Summer: "Music, what else?"

Me: "Oh...I haven't stayed with you in about a week. Plus, I haven't seen you talking to Bam or seen you with him in a long time. Are you guys okay? You never say anything about him."

Summer: "Yeah, we're fine. He's just been going to skate competitions and things like that."

Me: "Ah, I see."

    I seen Bam pop up around Summer's shoulder, holding a couple of CDs in his hand. He kissed Summer on the cheek and then smiled at me.

Bam: "Hey, Pilot!"

Me: "Hey. I haven't seen you in forver. At least a couple of months or so. How were the skate competitions?"

Bam: "How did you know I went to skate competitions?"

Me: "Summer just told me."

Bam: "Oh. Well they were great. I won about 3/4ths of them."

Me: "Good. Any trophies?"

Bam: "Loads."

Me: "That's cool. Well I've got to go, Jessie wants me back at her place to meet her new boyfriend."

Summer: "Okay."

Me: "Call me sometime, Summer."

Summer: "Sure will."

    I gave them both a hug before I purchased my make up. I drove back to Jessie's, my mind actually empty for the first time in awhile which felt quite peaceful. I stepped in the door to see Jessie and this Taylor guy, kissing. Of course, I knew Jessie wouldn't be able to help herself.

Me: *Ehem*

    Jessie and Taylor automatically split apart to see what was going on.

Me: "Hello there, face-suckers!"

Jessie: "Hi, Pilot. This is Taylor. Taylor this is Pilot."

    I held my hand out to him where he shook it, his grip a lot stronger than most men. He had a young looking face but you could tell he was around our age. He was dark skinned, obviously had Indian in his heritage, he had thick, short, black hair, solid brown eyes, he was tall and very muscular. His face sort of pudgy but still had a diamond-like shape to it, his eyes were a little slanted, but it fit him perfectly, and his lips were a lighter brown with pink rimmed on the inside, his lips pooched a little so I knew him and Jessie were both having fun when they kissed since they both had big lips.. This guy was actually kind of cute and he was perfect for Jessie. He wore a blue, plaid, button-up, shirt with the sleeves rolled up just before his elbow, regular baggy blue jeans, and it looked like construction boots in some way.

Taylor: "Hi, it's nice to meet you."

Me: "You, too."

    I stayed, sitting on the couch for about a half an hour, talking with him and Jessie. They seemed to have a lot of the same interests and a lot of things in common. Certianly a lot more than her and Dane did.

 

    It's been a couple of years and Danny and I have been with each other everystep of the way. I'm now 22-years-old and more mature than ever. I can honestly say that I really am in love with Danny and I've gotten over Ville 3/4ths of the way. I know that the other 1/4th will never fade. I simply loved him too much to ever let him go completely.
    So here I am, in Anthie's living room, sitting on her couch, reminiscing on all the good memories I've had with Danny. Also looking back at Jessie and Taylor's beautiful wedding. I've never seen a bride or a wedding so beautiful. Brittany and Jake are engaged to be married. Summer and Bam were still in their off-and-on relationship. Elaina and Hesekial were planning to get married whenever they saw each other in person again. They spent most nights either talking on the phone or talking on webcam. Lauri eloped with a girl we never knew because his parents didn't want him to be married. Pete was swinging from girl to girl like usual. Gerard had a steady girlfriend for a couple of months now. Dane hasn't been heard from since that night Jessie kicked him out of her house. And as for Mige, Burton, Linde, and Gas...they got ahold of Ville and flew out to see him about 3 or 4 years ago and we haven't heard from them since.
    I was dazed, thinking how so many things have changed yet so many haven't. It was a wonder how God could do so many amazing things in this world. My thoughts were completely scattered when I heard Anthie scream at the top of her lungs and a thud of something metal. I jumped up from the couch and sprinted to the kitchen to see what happened. There was Anthie, soaked in hot water and noodles, steam rising from her shirt. She was standing right in front of the stove, her arms spread out and her face filled with shock. the silver pot was laying upside down on the floor, a puddle of yellow, steamed water spread around it and under Anthie's feet.

Anthie: "It burns!"

Me: "Come one, Anthie, go clean up and I'll pick up the mess."

Anthie: "Okay. I'm so sorry. I know you're hungry."

Me: "Anthie, I'm capable of cooking myself. We have more food."

Anthie: "Are you sure?"

Me: "Yes, now go clean up."

Anthie: "Okay."

    Anthie went into the bathroom while I bent over to pick up the mess. Once I got the pot washed up and the floor mopped, I put on another pot of noodles. I was stirring it when my cell phone rang. I pulled it out of my pocket and answered it.

Me: "Hello?"

Danny: "Hey, Cadet, what are you doing?"

Me: "I'm making me and Anthie something to eat, What about you?"

Danny: "I'm on my way to pick you up."

Me: "Wait...wh-what? I'm cooking, Anthie needs to eat you know. I'm hungry, too."

Danny: "Well you're going to eat with me. You can finish making Anthie something but then you've gotta get youself ready to go with me."

Me: "Um...Okay."

Danny: "I'll be there in a about 10 minutes."

Me: "Okay then."

Danny: "I love you, Cadet."

Me: "I love you too, Sarge."

Danny: "Bye."

Me: "Bye."

    I hung up my phone and finished fixing Anthie's food. I got ready in Anthie's room and I surprisingly got all of that done before Danny got here. I walked up to the bathroom door to tell Anthie where I was going.

Me: "Anthie, I'm going on a date with Danny. Your food is done, it's on the counter in the kitchen."

Anthie: "Okay. Have fun."

    Danny took me to Olive Garden like before, where we ate and talked about pointless things, which was always fun. After dinner, he took me to the beach where we spent our first night making love with each other. This place was more beautiful than I remembered. I hadn't been here in awhile so I kind of lost the memory of how this place looked. No one ever cme here which was amazing since the park was on the hill right above it. It was really peaceful and beautiful, though. I t looked slightly different, being in the daylight and all, but it was most certainly breathtaking.
    Danny and I held each other's hands and had small tlk while we walked slowly and watched the seagulls fly by.

Danny: "So you remember our first night here together?"

Me: "How could I forget? It was amazing."

Danny: "Yes, I know. It was one of the most perfect days of my life."

Me: "Mine too."

Danny: "You were so scared to get in the water."

Me: "No, not really. I just hadn't been that close to a person since the person I was with before you. So I was nervous of what was going to happen more than anything."

Danny: "Yeah, you were quite shaky."

Me: "Yeah, I know. But I'm glad I was brave that night. We might not be here right now if I wasn't. You just never realize how such small choices can effect your life later on in the future."

Danny: "That's certainly true."

    Danny stopped me right at the spot where he had taken his clothes off that one crazy night. He pulled me close to him and kissed me, parting his lips and forcing his tounge in my mouth, finding mine, and showing as much passion and affection as he could. He sent chills up my spine after he did his famous bottom lip biting before pulling away. That never got old. I looked into his eyes and smiled with a sigh. I was so in love.

Me: "I love you so much."

Danny: "I love you so much, too. And that's exactly why I brought you here today. I've been thinking about it the last couple of months and I know that we belong together...forever. I want us to spend the rest of our days together, having children, watching them grow up, and then having grandchildren and watching them grow up, too. Everything I do in this world, I do it for you and because of you. That's exactly the way I like it and I want to keep doing it, too...So, Cadet..."

    Danny grabbed ahold of my hand and got on one knee, holding out a black box with the most perfect engagement ring ever in it. Then I thought to myself...Haven't I already been in this situation before when Aaden had proposed to me?

Danny: "...Will you marry me?"

    I hesitated, knowing what had happened the last time I had said yes to someone. But I knew this was exactly where I belonged and this was who I was suppoed to spend the rest of my life with. So I gave him my answer.

Me: "Yes, of course."

    I smiled as Danny slid the beautiful ring on my finger.

Danny: "I asked your dad for your hand in mairrage and he approved right away."

Me: "Well that's good to know."

Danny: I love you."

Me: "I love you too."

    This was absolutely perfect. It was certainly more romantic than when Aaden had proposed to me. Danny held me tightly in his arms, giving me small kisses every once in awhile. We held each other, my head on his chest, smiling at what we knew was the beginning of a new life.

HAPPY BIRFEMDAY! I LOOOOOOOOOOOVES U! lol

    This place was unfamilar. I had been in places that had been close to this but it was different this time. The darkness wasn't dark anymore. In fact, everything seemed perfect. The sun rising above the horizon, the hill of blooming flowers was a perfect place to sit, the trees growing fresh apples on their branches, and the singing of the birds just put you at peace. I sat there on that hill and smiled from satisfaction. It was so nice to be alone for once and think about things. I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath of the fresh air, the light of the rising sun making the darkness of my eyelids more of a gray color. I heard rusteling and felt a presence sitting to the right of me on the one special hill. I opened my eyes and turned to see who it was. I was so overwhelmed with happiness, I began to cry. My face becoming damp with tears, my smile so big my cheeks began to hurt. I flung my arms around him and cried happily into his shoulder.

Me: "Oh, Ville, I'm so glad you're here!"

Ville: "I know. I am too."

    I pulled away to give him a kiss, hoping the moment would last forever.

Me: "I love you so much. Don't ever leave me again."

Ville: "I love you too. And I promise I won't."

Me: "Good."

    I kissed him again, but something terrible was beginning to happen. The sun suddenly was setting instead of rising and it was setting too fast. It went dark within a matter of seconds. The hill was full of skulls from people passed away from my family instead of flowers, the trees had not one single leaf or apple on them and were nothing but hollow pieces of wood with branches like claws, the grass around me was nothing but dirt, and the worst of all, the lips that were touching mine were beginning to fade away. I pulled my head back to see Ville slowly disapearing.

Me: "Ville, where are you going?"

Ville: "I'm sorry, I can't stay here..."

Me: "Why? You told me you'd never leave me! Please stay! I need you!"

Ville: "I'm sorry but I don't love you anymore. You can make it without me."

    His presence was becoming more faint as time passed. I reached my arm out for him but he didn't reach back for me.

Me: "No, Ville, please! I need you here with me! I can't go on without you! You mean everything to me! Please don't go!"

Ville: "I'm sorry..."

    Ville disapeared with no trace of him left behind. I realized that I was completely alone in this hell, the strong winds blowing my hair in my face, the tears pouring like a waterfall. I started screaming, nowhere to run or hide, no way to get out. Would I be here forever?
    The screams got louder and louder, almost unbearable. I felt something grasp onto my shoulders and shake me fiercely.

Ell Be: "Pilot, wake up!"

    My head flung forward; I was still screaming and eventually got myself to stop. I felt the tears like I did in my nightmare and my whole body felt like fire. I turned to Ell Bee to see her face stressed with horror.

Ell Bee: "Are you okay?"

Me: "Um...I don't know. I guess I will be. I just hope I never have a dream like that again."

Ell Bee: "Well you're fine now. Let's take your mind off of it. So what happened last night?"

    Oh great. Last night. Maybe it was the reason for my bad dream.

Me: "Yeah, about that, I was gonna talk to you about that today anyways."

Ell Bee.: "Well okay. I'm listening."

Me: "Umm...some things happened between me and Danny last night."

Ell Bee: "Like what?"

Me: "Well...I uh...told him that I loved him...but not before he told me. He said it first."

Ell Bee: "Is that all?"

    My eyes began to swell up with tears.

Me: "No..."

Ell Bee: "Aw, what's wrong Pilot? What heppened?"

Me: "I um...me and Danny...we uh...we sort of...s-slept together last night."

    She looked at me and I knew she was going to ask.

Ell Bee: "Which kind of sleep are we talking about here?"

   I gulped and shut my eyes for a brief second before I opened them again to tell her.

Me: "I mean...we had sex."

    Ell Bee looked at me with shock and I knew she was speechless. I knew doing something like this wasn't right. I was regreting last night already. I began to cry harder because I knew she wasn't going to answer me.

Me: "...And I feel so stupid. I'm not completely over Ville and I went and done something stupid like this. Danny doesn't deserve that. I need to be honest and fair with him. He doesn't even know Ville exists and I think he needs to know before I let things go too far."

Ell Bee: "Pilot, things have already gone too far. You've already slept with him and he told you he loves you. Since you told him that you love him too, there's nothing you can do about it now because it's already said and done and no matter what you say or do to him, it's still going to break his heart."

Me: "So what are you saying I should do?"

Ell Bee: "I'm saying that you should try your best to forget about Ville and to try to get over him. It'd be best if you didn't tell Danny anything about Ville, just go on like you never knew him and if you go on like you never knew him then Danny will never know either."

Me: "Yeah, I guess you're right. Well, I'm gonna get myself fixed up and then I'm gonna call Danny and have him pick me up so we can talk about last night."

Ell Bee: "Okay, but make sure that Ville isn't mentioned at all."

Me: "Okay."

    I got fixed up like usual and called Danny to have him pick me up like I said I would. I waited for about 10 minutes before I heard the famous mustang's engine go off. Danny took us to an old abandoned elementary school. We sat on the swings in the playground and held each other's hands.

Me: "Um, Danny?"

Danny: "Yeah?"

Me: "What do you think about last night?"

Danny: "I think it was great."

Me: "Yeah, me too."

Danny: "Why?"

Me: "I just want to talk about it, that's all."

Danny: "Well what's there to talk about?"

Me: "Um...let's start off with what you were thinking while it was heppening."

Danny: "I thought of nothing but you and how much I love you. I've been craving you for awhile and when it actually happened, it was overwhelming. I think that if I could, I would've made last night go on forever."

    Hearing that made me feel so special. Of course, Ville had said sweeter things than that to me before, but I guess 2nd best was all I could have.

Me: "Thanks, Danny. That's so sweet. I feel the same exact way."

   Not really.

Danny: "Why did you cry last night?"

Me: "Um. I told you last night. I was just really happy. I guess I was kind of scared too since I hadn't done that with anybody in a little over a year."

Danny: "Well I can understand that. So um. I know this is a little personal but, I know we didn't use any protection last night so I was wondering, is there any chance of you being pregnant?"

Me: "No. I keep track. That's all I'm gonna say 'cause I'm sure you get what I mean by 'I keep track'."

Danny: "Yeah, yeah, I know what you mean."

Me: "So um, are we gonna be doing this normally now or are we only gonna do it on like special occasions or something?"

Danny: "I'm leaving that up to you."

Me: "Hmph...how about whenever I'm in the mood, I'll give you a call. Is that okay?"

Danny: "Sure."

Me: "I don't have anymore questions. Do you?"

Danny: "Yeah, just one."

Me: "Okay, what?"

Danny: "Who did you lose your virginity to?"

    Oooohhhh no. I don't think so. I was NOT telling him that. He would have to go on not knowing that one. I didn't care if he made a fuss about it, He wasn't going to know.

Me: "It's not important."

Danny: "Well to me it is."

Me: "I'm not telling you."

Danny: "Why not?"

Me: "Because it's not important. And besides, that's my personal business."

Danny: "I think I have a right to know."

Me: "No, you don't."

    I let go of his hand and stood up.

Danny: "I wanna know! It's gonna bug me all day if you don't tell me!"

Me: "Oh, really now? Who did you lose your virginity to, huh? You won't tell me, I know you won't!"

Danny: "Tara NcDaniell, 10th grade, Homecoming Dance."

Me: "Okay, so you told me. That doesn't mean that I'm gonna tell you, though. It's not important."

    I began to walk away, hoping he wouldn't keep it going. Of course, I was wrong. He grabbed my hand from behind me and spinned me around.

Dsnny: "How is this not important?"

    That was it. I was officially pissed off. I got in his face and began to yell.

Me: "You wanna know WHY it's not important? It's not important because I love you and that's all that matters to me right now and whoever I slept with in the past doesn't matter to me anymore! It was in the past, it's all done and over with and I'll never see or be with the person ever again, so it doesn't matter! As long as we have each other and we love each other, that's all that matters!"

    I knew I just told a lie because it DID matter to me. It mattered to me that I had slept with Ville before and that I wanted to be with him so bad that it was slowly killing me inside. Danny seemed to be speechless as I stared him in the eyes, showing him how serious I really was.

Danny: "I'm sorry...I didn't think of it that way."

Me: "Danny, we're 20-years-old, we're old enough and mature enough to know better than to have these fights. I had fun last night and I don't want that memory to turn out to be sour."

    Another lie. I really didn't care.

Danny: "Okay. I won't do anything like that ever again."

Me: "It's alright. By the way, I've decided that I have another question for you."

Danny: "Mhm?"

Me: "Will you let today be one of those special occasion days...?"

    I began to grin, strangely.

Me: "...The back of your mustang is calling us again, can you hear it?"

Danny: "Actually, yes I can."

    Danny kissed me long and hard before he pulled away and grabbed my hand, both of us running towards his mustang. It was a good thing this school was abandoned and no one ever came here. Danny reached in his pocket and got his keys and fumbled around to find the right one. He finally found it and got the door unlocked. We climbed in and stripped down like we did last night. My mind screamed again, since this time I was on top of him and I was the one taking full control. NO! STOP IT! NOT AGAIN, YOU KNOW HOW YOU REALLY FEEL ABOUT LAST NIGHT, THIS WILL ONLY MAKE IT WORSE!
    I pushed them aside...again. I was already here now and I wasn't turning back now. I found myself kissing him, fiercely, like never before. This felt different than last night besides the position changes. I wasn't as scared and I wanted him more than ever. I wanted him last night because I wanted to remember how it was to feel loved like that again. This time, I only wanted him for the pleasure, for just the plain enjoyment. And I showed it in the kiss too. This time, I knew, wasn't going to be just making love like last night...it was just going to be pointless and, no question about it, stupid fucking. I felt really disgusted with myself by this point, but I was letting myself control me and not letting me control myself. I knew that was hard to understand but it made sense to me.
    Danny kissed me back the same way I kissed him. I pulled away and neither one of us said a single word. I just let him have it. It certainly wasn't like how it was with Ville. Feeling Danny like this was different than feeling Ville like this. Jeez, I wanted Ville so bad. I closed my eyes as I took control, trying to make my mind clear of everything but Danny and what was happening between us. Like last night, my guilt and disgustation faded when I began to feel everything intensify, and I could hear nothing but my thoughts, the heavy breathing, and the moaning. It took me a few minutes to realize that it wasn't just Danny doing all the moaning and heavy breathing. I was actually enjoying this! I knew I couldn't let myself do this, but I just let go of all of my worries and let it happen. Danny holding onto my waist, just securring me and making sure I was doing my job and not leaving him. The feeling began to take over my whole body and I felt my throat get caught up. I let out a gust of air from my chest and I heard myself whisper Danny's name, and right when I did that, I regretted it. I was hoping he wouldn't hear it and I was hoping that I would be able to control myself better. I, of course, was wrong, like always. Danny heard me and began sighing my name repetitively. Oh great, how wonderful. I got something started by accident and it was going to kill me now. I guessed that since he was doing it then I might as well say his name right along with him whispering mine. The same movement was getting old and boring quite fast. It seemed like Danny could read my mind because right when I thought that, he rolled me over on my back and done everything he done last night. His thrusting was faster this time and I wasn't sure if I was quite comfortable with it but I didn't say anything; I didn't want to make anything awkward. But the longer it went on the more I started to enjoy it and didn't want him to stop. After a little while, when Danny was well satisfied, he laid down next to me and kissed my cheek.

Me: "No."

Danny: "No what?"

Me: "Don't stop. Again."

    I couldn't believe what I had just said. I felt myself about to get sick when he climbed on top of me again. Danny went at it again, but only faster this time. Now I REALLY didn't want him to stop. I had a mixture of so many different emotions, I couldn't stand it. He was making me go crazy with whatever the hell he was doing to me right now, I was so lost I couldn't even think of it at the time, that I actually clutched at Danny's back, almost ripping his skin off, and sreamed, not out of pleasure, but because I was so frustrated with myself and so confused by all the swirling thoughts running around in my head. I just let Danny believe that the scream was for other reasons. Once Danny was done and pleased as much as I was, he laid by my side again. I turned to face him and kissed him long and hard, my tounge playing with his a little before I pulled away to smile at him.

Me: "I love you."

    Oh shit. What am I doing? This wasn't good, not good at all.

Danny: "I love you, too,"

    Later on that day, Danny took me over to Jessie's house. I was hoping that staying with Jessie for a couple of days would calm my mind down. I walked into her house to see Jessie and Dane, screaming at each other. Well this was a first. It was actually quite violent. Jessie began picking up heavy, glass items that were laying on the counters and chucking them at him. I was thinking that if Dane wanted to make it out alive, he better run for it because once you get Jessie mad, there's no turning back. She took a ceramic bowl and threw it right towards Dane's face, it missing him slightly and shattering against the wall behind him. She screamed at him like no other.

Jessie: "YOU SON OF A BITCH, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

    My goodness, he's going to die if he doesn't get out.

Dane: "I'M SORRY, BABY, PLEASE! I LOVE YOU!"

Jessie: "YOU LIAR! I DON'T EVER WANNA SEE YOU AGAIN! IT'S OVER! GET OUT BEFORE I THROW SOMETHING AT YOU AND DON'T MISS!"

Dane: "OKAY, I'M LEAVING! JUST DON'T COME CRYING TO ME WHENEVER YOUR NEXT BOYFRIEND BREAKS YOUR LITTLE HEART!"

Jessie "IN YOUR DREAMS! NOW....GET....OUT!"

    Dane brushed passed me and slammed the door behind him, causing a few things to fell off the TV stand. Jessie let out a scream and plopped down on the couch, digging her face in her hands. I sat down next to her and put my hand on her back.

Me: "What's wrong?"

    Jessie looked up at me, tears swelled up in her eyes, but I knew she wouldn't allow them to release because she was too srtong for that and I knew that. Her voice was a little shaky though.

Jessie: "I caught Dane in MY bed with another girl. So yeah, he was cheating on me."

Me: "That bitch."

Jessie: "It doesn't really matter though...I like someone else. I kinda wanted him to break up with me but I didn't want him to cheat on me."

Me: "It'll be okay. I'm here for you. And besides, you can go after this guy you like now. What's his name?"

Jessie: "Taylor Lautner. He's really hot."

    There goes the Jessie I know and love.

Me: "Does he like you, too?"

Jessie: "No, he just kissed me for the fun of it."

Me: "JESSIE!"

Jessie: "It was only once. But now I can kiss him all I want and not feel guilty."

Me: "There you go. You're being strong. Thatta girl."

    I patted her on the shoulder before I fixed myself something to eat and took a nap on the bed in her spare room.

    My eyes opened slightly, blurred vision overtaking the figure in front of me. I couldn't really make out the face but I knew it looked familiar. Once all of the blur faded, the face became clear. I yawned and streatched my arms above my head.

Me: "Danny, what are you doing here? I look like shit."

Danny: "You don't look like shit...and I was on my way home when Ell Bee called me on your cell phone and she said you passed out. I turned right around and went straight here. When I asked her why you passed out, she refused to tell me. She said I would have to ask you. So what exactly happened?"

    I knew the truth and I knew it quite well but it would be too much for Danny to bear. I knew I wouldn't be able to tell him. At least I could try to stall.

Me: "What about your family?"

Danny: "I called them and told them what was going on and they understood. They all just made themselves comfortable at my house."

Me: "What time is it?"

Danny: "It's 9:30 A.M. I was beginning to get scared 'cause I thought you'd never wake up. You were out for 18 and a half hours."

Me: "Oh wow. Were you here the whole time?"

Danny: "Yeah. I slept in here with you."

    I felt a little uncomfortable knowing that someone had slept in my bed next to me that wasn't Ville. But yet again, I guess none of that really mattered now.

Me: "Hmph..."

Danny: "Now tell me what happened."

    Now I had no way to avoid the subject. I had nothing that I could think of to stall.

Me: "Well...um..."

    I tried to think of the most perfect yet reasonable lie I could think of.

Me: "...I uh...was thinking about you and for some reason my mind kept telling me that something bad was gonna happen to you, like a car wreck or something, and then I just had a panic attack and the next thing I knew, I was out."

    Danny bit his lip and squinted his eyes like he was deep in thought. I was hoping he would believe it.

Danny: "Well you know that I'll be okay, you don't need to worry about me. I always take precautions."

Me: "I know that now."

    He smiled a little and kissed my forehead.

Danny: "Get up. We need to get ready for our date before the coffee shop closes."

Me: "Okay."

    Danny got up and took off to the living room. I sighed and pulled myself up. I looked in the mirror as I got up. JEESH, I really DID look like shit. My hair was all in knots, my make up was smeared all down my cheeks, and my skin was bright pink with sweat dripping off of my forehead. I was hoping this was just a minor detail of what happened yesterday. I grabbed my clothes (and bathing suit) and hopped in the shower. I made sure I looked good with my perfect make up and straightened hair. I knew I was going swimming today and that my make up would mess up anyways but I didn't care.
    I walked into the living room where Danny and Ell Bee were having small talk. Without a word, Danny led me out the door and to his mustang. Once we were well on our way to the coffee shop, I began to talk, making sure nothing was ever awkward.

Me: "Are you going to go see you family today?"

Danny: "Yeah. I just hope I can get there this time."

Me: "Oh ha ha, Danny, you're just hilarious. I seriously had a bad time yesterday."

    I then realized that I was starting to get snippy with him which was uncalled for.

Danny: "Yes, I know, and it wasn't your fault, I don't blame you, no need to get so defensive. I was kidding."

Me: *mumbling* "Didn't sound like it."

    I flinched, knowing he most likely heard that one.

Danny: "Well I'm sorry. I'll watch what I say next time. This must mean a lot to you."

Me: "Yes, it was scary. And it should mean a lot to you, too. I'm your...your g-girlfriend now."

    It felt odd directing that towards him.

Danny: " I know. And I'm sorry."

    I was surprised that he was the only one of us two who was trying to stop the bickering. I guess he really didn't want to fight, and to be honest, I didn't want to either.

Me: "...I'm sorry for being pissy."

    Danny pulled up to the coffee shop with ease, turning off the car when he came to a complete stop. He looked at me with worry in his eyes, I could tell he truly was sorry. He grabbed my hand in a reassuring way.

Danny: "It's a lot to deal with. Kidding about it wasn't the right thing to do. You had every reason to get pissed at me."

    I didn't really have anything to say about it. I just leaned over and kissed him hard. For some reason, a strong desire for him came over me. I let go of his hand and put both of my hands on his face, shoving my tounge in his mouth. He kissed back without hesitation but I could tell that there was a bit of surprise that came out of his reaction. He placed his hands on my neck, just below my ears. We seperated a couple of times to take a breath but always went right back to it. This kiss was different from the last two. It was more like I had lust for him than love. I felt disgusting for feeling that way but I couldn't help it. I finished off by pulling off the move he always used on me; biting his bottom lip before pulling away. I stayed close to his face to look him in the eyes, hoping for something that meant he was feeling the same way I was at that moment. He blinked a couple of times, his breath shallow before he bit his lip and pulled the same move on me. The same exact kiss repeated itself only it was his turn to do everything I did. He pulled away and gasped; I could almost hear his heart beating.

Danny: "Umm...Since I don't really have anything to say about that, I'm just gonna suggest that we go inside and get some coffee before things get too far. So let's go inside and get some coffee before things go too far."

    I giggled, feeling quite content and pleased with myself. I dropped my hands from his face and backed away from him.

Me: "You're such a smartass."

Danny: "I know."

    I could hear the humor loud and clear in his voice. We walked in and got our orders of coffee. While we were sipping our coffee, it DID in fact feel a little awkward around each other, we couldn't deny what had just happened. I was about to ask him what that was that hppened but he beat me to it.

Danny: "So what was that back there?"

Me: "I-I don't know...something just came over me and I couldn't contain myself."

Danny: "Ah, I see...Is it because I'm so irresistable?"

    There goes that humor again.

Me: "Yes, Danny, you're one sexy beast."

Danny: "I knew it, I just knew it."

    I just looked at him and giggled, I always seemed to giggle a lot around him.
    When we were done with our coffee, Danny drove us to the park pool. I went into the girls' changing room while Danny went into the guys' changing room. After I stripped down to my jet black bikini that had skulls all over it, I looked in the mirror and began to feel self-concious about myself. I looked around at all of the other girls who had perfectly flat stomachs and hot bodies. I knew I wasn't like them and it was obvious. I knew I wasn't a big girl, that was for sure, but I was just hoping for a smaller body, like the other girls. What would Danny think? Would he like the way I looked? Would he stare at the other girls? Am I good looking enough for him? Either way, I guess it wasn't important because if he really loved me, it wouldn't matter to him. I walked out of the changing room with confidence, meeting up with Danny at the same time. His eyes seemed to bug out of his skull while he examined me up and down. He didn't say anything so I didn't know wether he was all googly eyed with amazement or by being disgusted. The next thing I knew, he walked up to me and held me in his arms, moving his hands up and down my back, giving me chills up my spine and goosebumps on my arms. He squeezed tightly, as if he was afraid to lose me. I could barely breathe, he was hugging me so tight.

Me: "I...can't...breathe."

    Danny let go of me quickly, smiling.

Danny: "Sorry."

    That accent was to die for.

Me: "What was that about?"

Danny: "Ummmm..."

    I could see guilt washed over his face. I imediately realized why he hugged me like that.

Me: "DANNY!"

Danny: "I'm sorry! Something just came over me and I couldn't contain myself."

Me: "Thanks for stealing my line."

Danny: "Damn! I was hoping you wouldn't notice."

Me: "Nice try."

Danny: "It was a worth a shot."

Me: "Mhm. Now let's get in the pool, I'm tired of standing here."

    We went in the pool and swam around for awhile and went down the slides a few times. Danny seemed like he kept his hands somewhere on my body the whole time. We had a couple of races, and of course since I suck so bad, I lost every time. After a couple of hours, we went back in the changing rooms and got dressed. I made sure every part of me was dry and my make up was perfect once again, seeing as how I couldn't stand not one detail being out of place. Once we headed back into his famous mustang, Danny turned to me after he put the keys in the ignition.

Danny: "Do you wanna go to the fair? I heard it's in town and it's not far from here."

Me: "Well I don't know..."

Danny: "Pleeeaaase?"

    Danny gave me those pouty lips that I couldn't help but to say yes to.

Me: "Umm...okay, sure."

Danny: "Good."

    The ride there didn't seem as long as I thought it would be. When we got out of the car, the first thing I noticed was how big it was. There were so many bright colors and so many different games and rides. I wasn't sure where we should begin.

Danny: "I think we should start off with rides and then the games 'cause you don't wanna carry a gigantic bear around while you're on a rollercoaster, do you?"

Me: "No...and where did the bear come from?"

Danny: "Well you can't expect to leave here without me winning you something."

mE: "Hmm...I guess not."

Danny: "That's what I thought."

    We went on the first thing that Danny mentioned, which was a rollercoaster. I had never rode a rollercoaster with a loop in it before so I was pretty freaked out. Danny held my hand the whole time, which was really sweet. I made it out of the rollercoaster okay, and it was actually pretty fun, so I didn't mind it. After that, we went on a few smaller rides (including the scrambler which was my favorite of the smaller rides). Before we headed towards the games, I spotted the ferris wheel, which I always thought would be romantic for a date and I always wanted to go on it with a boyfriend but never had the chance.

Me: "Danny!"

Danny: "What?"

Me: "Let's go on the ferris wheel! I've always wanted to go on one."

Danny: "Okay."

    We got on, and of course, it was a little higher than I expected. But once it was going, it was pretty relaxing.

Danny: "Are you having fun?"

Me: "Well of course!"

Danny: "Sounds like it."

    Danny smiled and looked at me in the eyes. Right then and there, he gave me what I always wanted. A romantic kiss right when we reached the top. It was perfect. One of my wishes came true. The only difference was that it wasn't with the person I had always pictured it with. After the ferris wheel was said and done, we headed off to the games. I played a few different ones but soon gave up because I got tired of losing all of them. Danny got me a few little stuffed animals by winning some of them. But by the time we got to the coin toss, he was the king at it. He, of course, won me the big teddy bear. And I, of course, named it Danny. After the sky started to turn a bright yellow, we began to leave.

Danny: "Do you wanna go for a walk on the beach and watch the sun set? It's right below that cliff."

    Danny pointed over a rocky cliff where I could see sparkling blue water in the distance, the sun turning it orange and pink.

Me: "Um...okay."

    We walked down below the cliff where we laid our things down and took our shoes off to dig our toes in the sand. We walked closer to where the ocean water was crashing on the shore, and held hands while we walked and watched the sun set. The sun was beginning to turn the sky a bright orange and pink, just like the water. We dug our toes in the sand while we walked, watching the sun set until it was pitch black outside and the only things to light our way was the moon, the stars, and the lights from the fair above the cliff, reflecting on the water. Danny and I were cracking a lot of jokes and were laughing ourselves silly. Danny seemed to be a little happier than usual. I tuned to look up at the pretty stars, making different shapes in their odd formation.

Me: "They're so beautiful, aren't they?"

    The next thing I knew, Danny let go of my hand and I turned to see why he let go. I stopped in my tracks to see Danny pulling off his clothes without a worry in the world.

Me: "What are you doing?!"

Danny: "I'm going swimming in the water. It's always warmer at night."

Me: "But we already went swimming today."

Danny: "So...we can swim again."

    Danny was eventually stripped down to nothing and I couldn't take my eyes off of him. I felt so guilty, still. He took off into the water and began to wade out farther and farther to where the lights from the fair were shining on him. My cheeks were flushing because I knew that I also couldn't deny what I had just saw.

Danny: "Come on, get in!"

Me: "No..."

Danny: "Why? Are you scared?"

Me: "No, I'm not scared of a little water, I used to swim at beaches all the time. I just don't wanna get wet again. But, no I'm not scared of a little wa-"

Danny: "That's not what I meant."

Me: "Then what did you mean?"

Danny: "You're scared of getting 'a little up close and personal', if you know what I mean."

    He knew that I couldn't lie to him about that one. I WAS scared to have no clothes on around him, even though I was fully clothed right now, I felt as if I was naked and to get physically that way would be just too much.

Me: "Umm...yeah, okay, you caught me, I am. And I'm being serious, too."

Danny: "That's okay...I'll just swim out here in the dark...*sigh*...alone."

    I knew he was trying to get me to go in. I knew nothing could hurt, so why was I so scared? I didn't even know, myself, to be honest. I took in a deep breath and began to strip down. By the time I felt the cold air take over my body and my teeth began to chatter, I knew that for once, I could be brave about something. Being bold and couragous for once couldn't hurt. I slowly walked into the dark, warm, ocean water and my chattering teeth imediately stopped. I swam out to get next to Danny. I could actually see him clearly in the colorful lights. He smiled and kissed me once, quick and sweet.

Danny: "You look nice."

    I felt my cheeks flushing again.

Me: "Mmmm, I don't know about that..."

Danny: "Well sure you do."

Me: "If I look good, then you look fantastic."

Danny: "If you say so..."

    He smiled, knowing what he said was going to make me giggle, which it did. We swam around for about 10 minutes before we found ourselves in each other's embrace, kissing like we did in the car earlier on that day. As the kiss became more intensified, my face began to get hot while my body began to shiver. His hands reached down to the small of my back, holding me even closer to him. I felt something press against my body and I knew exactly what it was so I pulled away, gasping, my eyes open wide.

Me: "Danny, I...I..."

    My voice got caught up and I didn't know what to say. I was beginning to take things too far and I knew it. There was no doubt about it. I didn't want things to go too far tonight. Certainly not tonight. Danny smiled out of embarassment.

Danny: "I'm sorry...I'm a guy, I can't really do much about it."

Me: "Oh, I know, I know. I'm not upset."

Danny: "Good.....it didn't, like, ruin the moment, did it?"

    I smiled now, not knowing what was coming over me again. A stronger pull, forcing me closer to his body.

Me: "No..."

    I grabbed his face and pulled his lips to mine. I kissed him like the last couple of times only this time, my body couldn't take it anymore. I wanted him right then and there. I knew I couldn't, which made me sigh in dissapointment while I was kissing him. Danny noticed my sudden reaction and pulled away.

Danny: "What's wrong?"

Me: "Um...I'd rather not say."

Danny: "Come on. You can tell me anything. That's what I'm here for."

Me: "Okay. I'll try to tell you this without embarassing myself as much as possible..."

Danny: "Okay, go ahead."

Me: "Uhhh...You see, we're kissing right now, we have no clothes on, but we're in the ocean which doesn't solve what's missing here. Do you get what I'm saying?"

Danny: "Nnnnoo...not realy."

Me: "Okay...let's try this again...we've been kissing, right?"

Danny: "Yeah."

Me: "We have no clothes on, right?"

Danny: "Yeah."

Me: "We're in the ocean with heavy waves pushing against us which means it would be clearly impossible to do a certain something now, wouldn't it?

    Danny seemed like he was thinking but getting nothing.

Me: "Think really hard about it..."

    It took Danny a few minutes of thinking before his face finally lit up.

Danny: "I have a car, you know."

Me: "Yes, I DO know that."

Danny: "Well then let's go."

Me: "Okay."

    We got out of the water and put our clothes on at least until we got to the back seat of his famous mustang, then our clothes were off again. Danny laid his cool, wet body on me, his touseled, wet hair dripping small droplets of water on my face, when it all hit me at once...WHAT WAS i DOING?! NO, PILOT, STOP THIS, THIS IS STUPID! QUIT! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GETTING YOUSELF INTO! STOP NOW! DON'T LET THIS GO ANY FURTHER!
    ...But then the screaming in my mind stopped. I tried to push them away and succeeded. I wasn't going to let myself worry my life away, especially right now, when things have gotten so close and I was finally happy tonight, the best night of my life so far (at least when Danny was in it). I wasn't going to let any screaming thoughts stop me. Danny kissed me, like every other time, only more passion. I kissed him back, not wanting to stop. Danny pulled away slowly, his eyes reassuring.

Danny: "Are you sure about this?"

    I felt my throat clutch and my voice shook when I spoke.

Me: "Yes, Danny, I'm sure."

Danny: "Okay. But just so everything is clear, if you want me to stop, you tell me to stop and don't let me go any further. And if I do anything to make you uncomfortable, you tell me. I wanna make sure everything is perfect for you. You got that?"

Me: "Yeah, I do."

    His voice, so calming and relaxing, put me somewhat at ease.

Danny: "Here we go then."

    I closed my eyed tightly, gasping already before anything happened. I waited a few seconds, my legs trembling from being so nervous...and then it happened. I felt him...and I loved every second of it. I smiled, feeling relief when I knew it wasn't so bad. But then when he began to move, I felt a sharp pain.

Me: "Ow!"

    He imediately stopped.

Danny: "Are you okay? What did I do? Do you want me to stop?"

Me: "Uh, no, I'm fine...it's just been awhile."

Danny: *whispering* "Okay."

    It was still pitch black dark outside and I heard rain begin to tap faster and faster on the windows as Danny began to move faster. I wasn't sure why, but I began to cry. Thankfully, it was dark in the car. But I ruined it when I let out a whimper. I knew he would catch me crying now.

Danny: "What is it?"

    He wiped away one of my tears with his thumb.

Me: "I don't know. I guess I'm just really happy."

    I was really happy. But I knew part of that happiness was a lie.

Danny: "Do you want me to stop now?"

Me: "No. Keep going."

    I put my right hand around his neck and kissed him lightly. He dug his head in my hair and began to kiss my neck. I eventaully stopped crying because every care that I had in the world faded away when our movements became synchronized and we were breathing heavy, speaking our love to each other without saying a single word. This was it. This was the moment when I realized that I really loved him. Danny must've been feeling the same way because inbetween his deep breathing and moaning, he told me.

Danny: "I love you, Cadet."

    I knew it was kind of silly to hear him call me Cadet instead of my real name at this moment but I was used to Ville doing the same thing, only he called me Pilot. And this was the first time I had a guy tell me that and mean it in a long time.

Me: "I love you, too."

    He kept us moving for a little while; me beginning to feel that outragous feeling when Ville and I had done it so many times before. It wasn't the same as Ville but it was still wonderful. He thrusted until I could hear his shallow breath once more and his movements became slower and easier. Danny gave me one last, long kiss before he collapsed on top of me. I held him in my arms and ran my hands through his wet hair and kissed his forehead while I cried, silently. I had gotten what I wanted and for right now, I wasn't ashamed of it. After we had calmed down, we got dressed and Danny took me to my house. Finally my house for once. The car ride there was quiet but we squeezed each other's hands, knowing what we had just done was to be a subject talked about the next day. Danny kissed me and we exchanged I love you's before I got out of the car and went inside my house. I dropped all of my things, took my shoes off, and collapsed on the couch, not bothering to change. I yawned before I shut my eyes and fell asleep.